hesitant [wk]

nineteen

hey btw i don't know how my updating schedule will change in the summer, but i won't be updating during vacations sorry
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"do you wanna just go back to the hotel?" he backed up from you, lifting your head up so you can look at him.

you don't really want to, but you also know it's the best thing to do right now. within the past hour weston has been treating you so significantly different than usual, and part of you is telling yourself it's all a joke.

"yeah," you nod, pushing the hair out of your face with puffy eyes. he places a hand on your back, turning you towards the same way hes facing so you can walk together.

the exit is a lot closer than you thought, which is a small relief. the hotel is right next to the assument park, you can already see it in the distance.

you can't think of anything to say to weston. you don't want to say something that'll ruin anything, but maybe you should say something so he knows you're serious about liking him.

part of the reason why it's so hard for you to grasp right now is because everything is so new. not only did weston just find out about your feelings for him, but you did too. you were only considering them before tonight, and now after all of that you actually know.

you both continue walking up towards the hotel, making it there quicker than expected. you're in the elevator with quiet conversation. your mind is filled with endless ways on how a relationship between you and weston could go horribly wrong. not only would it destroy you and kalynn's friendship if you broke up, but you also just started getting closer with weston again. you don't want to ruin it.

the elevator door opens loudly, leading you right out to your hallway. he walks you down with him, stopping at the two doors that lead into your separate rooms.

"i'll see you tomorrow," he reaches for his handle with a small smile.

"wait weston," your hand grabs his wrist, stopping him from going into his room just yet. he stops, looking to face you.

you don't know why you stopped him, you don't have anything to say. it just feels wrong seeing him go into his room. you're more than overwhelmed, your whole body is overstimulated. things changed so quickly tonight, youre unsure how to handle it.

"are you okay?" he cuts you out of your thoughts, scaring you a little. you can feel your throat close again, the familiar feeling of watering eyes coming back. you don't know what to say to him.

his eyes move between yours, trying to figure you out. you look at his lips, hating how inviting they look at the state your in right now.

you move closer to him, putting your hand under his jaw. he looks at you, eyes subtly widening for a split second.

going against everything in you, you mesh your lips onto his for the second time tonight. you know this will only worsen the ongoing battle in your mind, but you can't just let him go to his room.

he kisses you back, a little caught off guard. your hand stays out on his jaw, slightly shaky.

you can hear him breathe in and out while kissing you, and it starts to calm you down. something about the steadiness of it makes you realize how simple this could all be.

you pull back, pressing you hand to your eye to stop from crying. "god i'm so fucking dramatic," you toss your head back in frustration, "i'll see you tomorrow."

"y/n you're not being dramatic, this is a lot to handle. i'm sorry i threw it on you all at once, but i just felt like i needed to tell you. and yesterday when we were down at the pool, i don't know, that was like my green light. i was just so unsure of ever acting on the way i feel towards you, but i just thought that maybe you liked me back after we almost kissed last night. but that shouldn't have made me think it's okay to just tell you everything at once, im sorry," he grabs your hand, squeezing it.

"you don't have to be sorry, it's not you. it's just the mindset i'm stuck in. it's hard for me to look at things rationally. i just don't know where we stand. i want to be with you so bad right now," another tear falls down your face, you can barely notice it anymore.

"but it's so much harder than that," you take a deep breath, "i want to be able to kiss you without having to hate myself after for it."

"you don't need to be in a relationship with someone to fool around with them," he tells you as if you didn't already know. you've had a lot of those type of relationships with people in your past.

"you wanna do that?"

"no no no no," he shakes his head, "i'm not opposed to doing that, but that's not like what i was trying to get at. i actually like you, like you as a person. i'm not just trying to-"

"relax," you laugh at his flustered response, "i didn't mean it like that either."

"oh," he exhales in relief, worried he said something wrong.

"i'll see you tomorrow, ok?" you reach for your door handle, too tired to try and figure this all out right now.

"goodnight," he goes for his door, reaching out for his handle.

you open your door, only making it halfway inside before getting tugged back by your hand. his lips press onto yours for a quick peck, both of you smiling into the kiss.

just as he got there, he left again. already back at his door while you try and contain your smile.

"goodnight!" he repeats himself from before, this time more enthusiastic. his door slams shut, yours closing soon after.

you walk right into the bathroom for a shower, still smiling.

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so choppyyyqhgswhheb sry i don't like this chapter but it is what is