Sweet Child O Mine (Izzy Stradlin)

4. Axl Rose

Myles walked into his house and saw Izzy sitting on the couch with Katie and Kadyn by his side looking at pictures. 

Must be of Mama. I forgot she died on the day I was born. Myles thought. 

"Hey," Myles said walking into the living room. Izzy sighed and rose of the couch and walked to his son. Izzy kissed Myles on the head. Myles knew he looked like his mother. He inherited her sapphire blue eyes and his body favored hers. But he had his father's black hair and smile and face. "You look so much like your mother," Izzy said. 

Myles could always tell that Kadyn was jealous of Myles for Izzy's love being shown to the youngest child. But Katie always loved seeing Izzy so loving to Myles. To Katie, Myles was the baby. And he needed love. But to Kadyn, Myles needed to 'man up.' And 'stop getting so much attention because he had a rough day.' 

"What was mom like?" Myles asked. Izzy smiled as he hugged his youngest child. "Actually, she was a lot like you," Izzy said. Myles could see tears in his father's eyes. And his heart ached. 

Izzy loved Leah with all his heart and he made three gorgeous children as a symbol of their love. And they loved their children. 

And Leah loved Myles. Even though the only time she saw him was on the sonogram. And the only time she felt him were his kicks in her stomach. And she got to hear his heartbeat. And she loved him. But she never knew him. And that fact was killing Myles. His mother never met him. She never saw what he looked like because he was torn away from her as her heart stopped beating. 

Izzy remembers being dragged out of the hospital room despite his protests to stay. He was yelling at them to let him go or save her. As he heard the doctor say Leah had no pulse. Izzy knew, then and there, Leah was gone. 

Izzy stared at a picture of them at their wedding as he sat on the couch. The kids had gone out to take Myles for a birthday lunch. Izzy looked through a few more pictures before finding one of him and Axl in high school. They were sitting on Izzy's roof smiling like idiots. They were happy. Very happy. Axl was the only friend Izzy had in high school. 

Izzy sighed as he looked at the picture. He looked over at the phone contemplating calling his old friend. He hadn't talked to him in fourteen years and three months. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Myles sat on Wilder's bed strumming his guitar. Wilder sat in his office chair pushing it back and forth. "You wanna start a band? I'm bored," Wilder said. Myles smiled as he looked up from his guitar. "You wanna start a band because you're bored?" Myles asked. Wilder nodded. "I can get Logan McKagan, Xander Hudson, and Lauren Adler to be in the band," Wilder said. "Also known as Guns N Roses the second!" Myles said. Wilder smiled and nodded. "I'll call them over," he said. 

Steven hadn't talked to anyone in Guns N Rose since he left in 1990. But there he was in Axl's living room surrounded by the former band. At least one of the members had left the band at one time. 

Izzy was sitting outside as his main plan was to not talk to any of the band members. He was afraid he'd still love them the way he did in the 80s and 90s. And he didn't want to. He didn't want to have another heartache. He had already cried twice that day due to the fact he was missing Leah. Every year for three days after Myles's birthday, Izzy would cry. All he wanted was the love of his life back in his arms. But he couldn't have that. 

"Are you alright?" Izzy turned to look at the owner of the deep voice. It was Axl. "Fine... I'm fine," Izzy said looking at his shoes. "Are you sure?" Axl asked placing a hand on his old friend's shoulder. Izzy shrugged it off. "I'm sure," he said. "Um... I... I'm sorry for being an asshole to you, you didn't deserve it," Axl said. "You're right, I didn't. And neither did Slash or Steven. I'm not coming back. And I certainly am not coming because you faked an apology," Izzy said. "I didn't ask you to be back. I just... I just wanted to set things straight I guess," Axl said. Izzy narrowed his eyes as he looked into Axl's green ones. "Sure you do," Izzy said. Axl sighed and hung his head. "Alright. If you don't want to forgive me. I understand. I'm sorry about Leah," Axl said. He looked at Izzy and smiled sadly at him. "Have a nice day," he said before walking inside. 

Izzy sighed and took a drag from his cigarette. He thought a lot about Axl after he had left. I still love him like a brother. Izzy thought. Damn it! I still love all of them. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I put anything aside. Axl was really trying. And he was nice. Slash forgave him. Steven is on alright terms with him. Why can't I be? 

But Izzy knew the answer to that question. He didn't want to love any one else but his children. He didn't want to have to deal with the pain of losing anyone. He didn't want to have to go through a death all over again. 

It was killing him.