I jumped - MariChat ( miraculous ladybug )

Chapter 6

Last night was torture, after Chat left I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about that kiss but every time I did I remembered that I'm just a weak little girl who goes around at night and pretends to be this big amazing superhero when in reality she's just a weak little nobody..

"Marinette that's not true," I jumped, did I say that out loud? When the hell did Tikki get back?

"Marinette, you are ladybug. You don't pretend to be some big superhero, even if people didn't idolize you, you would still put your hero duties first because you're a great person Marinette. Think about your friends, how would they feel if they knew what you thought about yourself. Adrien, Alya, Chat. How would they feel if they found out you jumped off that balcony and didn't just slip in the rain?" I sighed. They'd worry too much. Would they? Alya and Nino hadn't even bothered to come by since I got home. Maybe they were busy. Yeah, they must be I'm sure they would have visited if they weren't busy. 

"Marinette, maybe you should get some rest. The doctors said you need as much rest as possible," I hummed at her but continued staring at the ceiling, I can't sleep. Crap I didn't tell Chat I wasn't doing patrols anymore,

"Tikki, Spots-" 

"wait Marinette you can't, I don't know if your body can handle transforming right now,"

"Tikki I'm sorry. I have to go see Chat tonight, tell him I won't be on patrol for a while. It will only be less than an hour. Tikki, Spots On!" As soon as I was transformed the pain doubled and I cried out, crumpling on the floor in a ball. After the pain had settled I managed to pick myself up off the ground and go onto the balcony, I hadn't been up here since that night. It feels different now, I looked over the railing to the ground. I could try again, but of course, my suit would stop me from getting damaged but if I weren't in the suit I bet if I tried again I would actually be successful if I wasn't fully healed yet. What was I thinking? I need to stop thinking like that. I need to get to Chat, tell him I'm not going to be on patrols for a while. It took longer than usual but I finally got to the Eiffel tower and Chat wasn't there. As soon as I realized he wasn't going to be there for a while I carefully sat down and bit my lip. I didn't realize how much it would hurt to transform and get out of the house. There's no way I can be ladybug any time soon. Dammit, Tikki should have found a new holder. I need to go see Master Fu after I see Chat.

It was only an hour before Chat showed up but I was just trying to not focus on the pain so I didn't notice him.

"M'lady? Is everything alright?" I jumped and bit my lip trying to not cry out,

"Yeah Kitty everything's fine I just wanted to let you know that I can't go to patrol for a little while, I don't even know if I can come if there's an akuma. I'm surprised there hasn't been one in so long," Chat looked sad,

"What's wrong Chat? You look sad," Chat sat down next to me

"I am sad but it's not because of you I mean I'm disappointed you can't show up and I'm worried about you but I'm sad because there's this girl I like and I kissed her tonight but I don't think she feels the same and she's hurt and I rushed out so fast that I think I hurt her even more and it's my fault she got hurt in the first place and I hate hurting her. Anyway, this isn't about me. What's stopping you from going on patrols and being ladybug?" I could feel my eyelids drooping, I'm exhausted I need to get some rest,

"Some personal issues and you should talk to that girl. Maybe she feels the same about you and I doubt you're the reason she got hurt anyway. Anyway, I have to attend to some personal business and then go home, I'm exhausted,"

"Alright. Yeah, I'll go talk to Marinette right now,"

"Kitty you shouldn't have told me who it was and wait until tomorrow. If she's hurt, she's going to need some rest so just be patient," I didn't wait for a reply and I swung off leaving Chat on the eiffel tower.

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it took a while to get to Master's place since I had to detransform a few streets over and walk there, the entire way Tikki was begging me to just go home but I couldn't. I needed to talk to Master. 

I was having a hard time walking to Masters, I was limping and it was hard staying up. I don't know how I was going to get home. When I walked into Master's he looked surprised to see me.

"Marinette. What are you doing here? You should be resting,"

"Sorry master but I need to talk to you, I need you to find a new ladybug," Master sighed and helped me sit down in front of him,

"Marinette, Paris needs you as ladybug. You are the perfect partner for Chat Noir and you are an amazing ladybug. I will not take your miraculous and give it to someone else. Nobody else can have your miraculous. Marinette why do you feel like you can't be ladybug?" I bit my lip

"Master I'm too weak to be ladybug. I can't even protect myself again a guy at n-"my eyes went wide. In the Chaos of jumping off of the balcony and all the pain and Chat kissing me I had forgotten why I had jumped off the roof in the first place

His hands on my hips, biting on my neck as I cried out. The smell of cigarettes and whiskey suffocating me. He ripped off my leggings as I cried and begged him to stop. His hands going up my shirt-

"Marinette? Marinette! Calm down, please everything's alright, what's going on?" I couldn't breathe. It felt like the walls were closing in on me. Air, I need air. 

"Marinette, it's okay. Breathe with me. Please." I felt someone put my hand on their chest as they took deep, exaggerated breaths. As soon as I was able to breathe on my own I looked up to see Chat. What was he doing here?

"Marinette.. You're ladybug?" Fuck.