I jumped - MariChat ( miraculous ladybug )

Chapter 8

Adrien got me into bed and laid down with me, we were facing each other but he refused to touch me after he got me in bed, once Adrien had revealed himself I had yelled and he had to remind me my parents were sleeping for me to shut up. I didn't say anything else as he helped me get dressed and back into bed. I tried to make sure I didn't show how much pain I was in but still, a few whimpers managed to get through.

"Marinette, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner but we couldn't reveal our identities yet,"

"Adrien, I'm not mad at you. I was just surprised. I'm honestly glad that after all this time it was you," Adrien smiled,

"I'm glad you feel that way. Can I kiss you?" I nodded and he leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed, I did the same. When our lips connected it felt different from last time. It was perfect. The world around us stopped, I was no longer in pain, I was no longer thinking about what happened. 

when Adrien pulled away my eyes slowly opened, he was staring at me. 

"Will you be my girlfriend?" oh shit. fuck. crap. I can't. What if he finds out I jumped? Or what that guy did? What if he finds out how weak I am? He's going to find out. He's going to hate me. Oh god, I can't breathe, help please someone help me. 

"ette? Marinette? Hey it's ok, you don't have to answer right now. It's okay. Try to breathe, it's okay," he put my hand on his chest just like he did at Master's. He took deep exaggerated breaths and I focused on those trying to calm down. When I finally started breathing normally again he looked sad. And Scared. 

"What's going on Marinette? You can talk to me about anything you know. I know you didn't just slip on the balcony," I gulped and looked away from him. Tears gathered in my eyes and I heard a small gasp,

"Yeah, I had a feeling. It's okay. Please talk to me though, It's going to be okay. I'm here for you no matter what," the tears rolled down my cheeks and he wiped them away.

"Please look at me Marinette. I'm not going to judge you or think of you any differently," Can I really trust him? Can I tell him? I think I can, I think I will,

"Adrien you're right, I didn't slip. Fuck, Adrien, I jumped," I felt him grab my hand but he didn't say anything,

"I'm sorry, I just, fuck, Adrien I don't know I was just overwhelmed I think. I'm not entirely sure but when I was falling it felt like nothing else mattered anymore, it was all going to end," his grip tightened,

"I wish I could make you feel better, I don't know how to. Please don't jump again. I promise, I will try to help you. Does anyone else know uh ya know?"

"Just Tikki, nobody else. I want to keep it that way," Adrien shimmied closer to me, trying not to shake the bed too much. Wait Tikki didn't just know. Tikki watched it happen. Oh god I'm so sorry Tikki.

"T-Tikki?" I felt her land on my shoulder,

"Yeah Marinette? Is everything okay? Do you want me to get anything for you?"

"I'm sorry Tikki, you watched it didn't you?" Adriens head shot up to look at Tikki. She didn't say anything.

"I thought so. I'm sorry you had to see that Tikki," Tikki still didn't say anything but Plagg flew in between me and Adrien holding a bottle of pain meds. I shouldn't take them. I deserve to b ein so much pain. I made Tikki see that. I deserve to hurt.

"Marinette you should take some pain meds and get some rest." I looked up at Adrien and shook my head,

"I shouldn't. I'm just going to try to sleep. You might want to get home before anyone notices you're gone Adrien," I could tell he wanted to say something else but he didn't. He carefully got up and went onto the balcony, I heard him transform and then he was gone. 

"Tikki you should go be with Plagg tonight, I want to be alone," she opened her mouth to say something but she decided against it and flew out the window. Finally, I was alone. I debated going up to the balcony and trying again. I almost did but instead I decided to take my fabric scissors and go up to the balcony. it hurt like hell to climb around my room but I deserved it. I deserved to hurt. When I got up to the balcony I perched myself on the railing and looked down, it's a long way done. No way I could survive a second time. Instead of jumping I rolled my sleeve up and took one blade from the scissors, with the blade in the hand wrapped in my cast I pressed the blade to my wrist and pressed down while dragging it across my wrist slowly. I grit my teeth in pain but as soon as I was done with the cut a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I could breathe again. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks but I ignored them, I was slashing at my wrists now, I kept slashing until there was no room left. It felt amazing.

When I finally snapped back to reality I threw the scissors somewhere on the balcony and rolled my sleeves back down but I lost my balance on the railing. I was falling. This was it. I'm done for.

"I'm sorry Adrien," I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact but instead of the hard concrete I fell into a pair of arms. My eyes went wide and I looked up. Adrien. He caught me, why was he back? Pain radiated through my body from the harsh movements

"Yeah I had a feeling. Tikki caught up to me as soon as I got home, we talked for a little while but I couldn't shake the feeling you were going to try again," we were hanging off the side of the bakery. Chat's baton stuck in the wall with both of us sitting on it, me in his lap. 

"I-I didn't mean to. I just wanted to come outside and get some fresh air and I was sitting on the railing but I lost my balance and I f-fell. I'm sorry" he hugged me gently, being careful to not irritate my wounds and further. 

"Can we please go inside now? I want to go to sleep and you really need to get home," he sighed, he was probably upset with me for being so stupid. 

"I'm not going home tonight. I'm going to stay with you," 

"Marinette!" Tikki flew at me and attacked my cheek with a hug. 

"I'm sorry for leaving, I knew I should go get Chat Noir back or else I would've stayed," I smiled sadly and put my hand that wasn't wrapped in a cast on Tikki, 

"It's alright, I told you to go to him," Tikki smiled at me and moved away from me to sit on Chat's shoulder and suddenly both of their expressions turned to horrified as they looked at me. What's going on? My sleeve had rolled up when I returned Tikki's hug. I quickly pulled my sleeve down and looked away from the two,

"Marinette... Is that blood?" Fuck