Better Off Dead (Kellin's Daughter)

Chapter 9

I sit at my desk quietly with my dog at my feet. There isn't much for me to do. I've long completed all of my schoolwork and I just recently have been told by my physical therapist that I am cleared of all my injuries.

I ended up getting allergy shots and then my therapist actually recommended that I got a service dog to help when I'm not at home. I had an episode at school once which was pretty bad.

My professors are completely aware. There are some things, especially walking alone or wearing headphones, that make me extremely panicked. I look at my skateboard. I want to ride to Tony's but I'm not sure how much it would overwhelm me.

"Daisy, we're gonna try something, okay?" Her tail wags as I grab her leash. I grab my board and go downstairs. We're pretty close to Tony's house, only about 15 blocks away. I grab my bag with my medications. I step out the door and feel immediate anxiety.

I begin riding and she runs beside me. I stop at Tony's house and I know I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Daisy whines some and I know she is warning me.

She barks and I go up to the door. Tony answers quickly. "Hey, come inside." I do and sit down on the couch. Daisy sits on my lap and I pet her until I'm eventually calm. She gets down and lays at my feet. "I'm proud of you."

I praise her a little, not having much energy left. "Why?" "You made it all the way here without having a panic attack. A few months ago, even walking outside alone you had a panic attack." My phone rings and I see it's Dad. "Hello?" "Where did you go?"

"Oh shit, I forgot to leave you a note. I skated to Tony's house." Tony talks. "She made it all the way here without having a panic attack. In fact, I think she didn't have a panic attack at all; although, she definitely was on the verge of one. I think I'm going to drive her home when she is ready, she appears completely exhausted."

"Alright. Rachel, rest if you need to." I nod. "She said okay." "I'll see you later, honey." I end the call. I cuddle into Tony and I see Erin come in. She gives me a hug. She sits on the other side of Tony and turns on the TV.

She turns on Star Wars and I watch it with them until I fall asleep. I'm in someone's arms when I wake up. "Hey honey, I'm bringing you home." I nod. I cuddle into him. "You're very snuggly right now."

I feel him walk inside. "She's still mostly asleep." "Go ahead and take her inside. She seems pretty attached to you so if you need or want to spend the night, go ahead." I feel we go upstairs and Tony places me on my bed.

I whine a little. "I'll be back. I'm going to change and go to the bathroom." He leaves and I open my eyes. I quickly change into sweatpants and go to the bathroom before laying in my bed again. Daisy lays at my feet.

Tony comes in next to me. I cuddle up to him and quickly fall back asleep. I wake up to Daisy nuzzling me. Tony is off the bed beside me. She crawls on top of me. I don't even remember the nightmare but I am extremely anxious.

I'm able to recognize I'm having a panic attack. She gets off me and returns, dragging my bag. I search through it and find my anxiety meds. I take one and lay back down. She lays down. I can hear Tony talking but it's really muted.

Eventually, I begin calming down. She licks me before laying back down at my feet. "Do you need anything?" I shake my head and open back up my arms. He lays down and I cuddle into him. I hear Dad. "Is she okay?"

"I think so. She had a pretty bad panic attack, though." "Do you know what her nightmare was about?" "I didn't ask. She was pretty out of it and she was obviously exhausted." "She needs the sleep. I didn't tell her, but she has Rush tomorrow. For her bumble bee, yellow jacket, and tree allergies. Vic is joining for his allergies as well. So is Alex. 3 people scared of needles, sounds like a wonderful mix, huh."

"Should I come for support?" "You'll have to ask Vic. It's supposed to be one guest per patient, Jack B is going for Alex and I'm going for Rachel." I slowly drift out of consciousness.

I wake up to Tony. "Hey honey, you need to get up. You can sleep some more later." I open my eyes. "Are you coming as well? I heard you and Dad last night." He shakes his head. "Vic already has Mike going with him." I nod.

I hug him. "I'll see you later, honey. They rented out a huge house so we'll all be there." I nod. I take a shower and get ready once he leaves. I go downstairs and take the meds. I let Daisy out and feed her. I'm not going to bring her, I can't anyways. Being with her right after the allergy shots, since I haven't fully built up the protection, causes me to have allergy symptoms.

We arrive at the place and I see Alex looks terrified out of his mind. "It's just you three today." We get brought back and I stay close to Dad. I'm terrified as well, especially since I know more about it.

"Okay, the first thing I have to do is to do take your vitals, your breathing rates, and start an IV for each of you just incase you have a reaction." She comes to me first and does them. I see the IV needle before she goes to start it. I close my eyes quickly.

I hear Dad. "All three of them are afraid of needles. The two on the ends have been known to get lightheaded because of them." She nods. I feel her move away and I bury myself under my blankets. I feel Dad's hand grab my own. "You're okay."

I hear her again. "Okay, the way this works is every half an hour I'll give you one shot for each of your allergens. This goes on for 5 hours. They will hold increasingly strong doses of the allergen. You'll be monitored for 3 hours after that for any reactions."

I nod a little, leaving my eyes closed. "Okay, let's begin."