STRIP

16.

Harry Styles

I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything Clementine told me last night. I don't deserve this woman, whose stomach my head is laying on and arms are wrapped tightly around my body like she's holding on for dear life as if I'll slip from her at any moment. I remember falling asleep to her rubbing my back and brushing her fingers through my hair. 

She cares for people who deserve to be cared for.

I don't think I fall into that category. I don't deserve to be cared for. I have spent two out of twenty-two years caring for others around me, and even at that, it's only been, Niall and Iris. I wouldn't even say I've cared about Jack, I've respected the man, I've been thankful for the man, but I wouldn't say I've cared for the man. 

Insert Clementine into my life and I can't even wrap my head around how much she's taken me by surprise. Maybe it's because right away I knew she was my perfect match, maybe it was her welcoming nature, or maybe it was because I gave her a chance to care. I've never given many people a chance to care. I wish I could explain what's going on in my clouded brain about her, but I can't. I can't wrap my head around how quickly she has changed my thought process. 

The second I got to work yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing her. The second she walked into my office it was like the entire atmosphere felt safer and warmer. She carries this natural light with her everywhere she goes, right when she enters a room I feel better. I wonder if everyone feels this way around her or maybe I'm just going crazy. Maybe I'm just crazy about her but I'd gladly end up in a fucking institution for how I feel about this girl. 

I want to take her advice from last night, I want to start being proud of myself as opposed to feeling sorry for myself. I've kept the club open, I'm planning on taking it over one day, I've cleaned myself up, I've taken Iris in, I plan to go back to school, maybe it's time I go back to school. 

I suddenly hear a light knock at the bedroom door, pulling me from my thoughts. 

"Iris?" I speak quietly in hopes of not waking Clementine up. 

She slowly opens the door as I lift my head from Clementine's stomach, I don't get very far before she groans and tightens her grip around me earning a quiet giggle from Iris. 

"Sorry, uh, I was wondering if uh, those girls Clementine and I had lunch with could come over? They texted me last night that they were having a sleepover and wanted me to join but I obviously am not ready for that. Could they uh, come over for breakfast maybe?" She asks just above a whisper.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, I can make something for everyone, yeah," I speak quickly, maybe with a little too much enthusiasm. 

"Don't make a big deal out of this please," she laughs. 

"I won't, darling, I won't. I'm just proud of you," I smile. 

"Well, I haven't seen you like this in, ever, actually, so I'm proud of you. I don't think I've said that for a while, but uh, I am. Thank you, I'm going to get text them the address," she says before walking out of the room. 

As soon as she leaves I feel Clementine move under me and start giggling uncontrollably. 

"What's so funny?" I lift my head to lay next to hers now seeing her eyes are still shut but her mouth holds a wide smile. 

"Yesterday, you told me no one else has ever been proud of you. Today, you can no longer say that to me," she keeps the same grin on her face before slowly opening her eyes and raising her hand to my hair, rubbing her fingers through it lightly. "Nonetheless, the most important person in your life is proud of you, baby, she's proud of you."