STRIP

38.

Clementine Adams

We've spent a majority of the day laying in bed together, only getting up occasionally to use the bathroom or grab food.

We haven't even really paid attention to the television, most of our time has been spent stealing kisses and trying to take our minds off of what the rest of the evening will look like.

Harry got the email, his lawyer sent the video to him but neither of us have been prepared to watch it yet. We're both unprepared for different reasons. I'm unprepared to know what happened to me. I don't want to watch the video but I owe it to myself to know what happened. Harry is unprepared, not only for the video but for having to comfort me. I don't know how I'm going to react to it. I've never seen a video of me being beaten before, I flinch watching movies with violence in them. 

This isn't a movie. The violence isn't fake. I have the marks to prove it. 

Harry has been in his own head all day today. I really don't think it's a good idea for him to watch this video yet. He's had too much information thrown at him over the span of a few hours, but I understand his want to view the footage. He wants this fixed as soon as possible to ensure my safety. 

Neither of us have grasped the concept that I could be in danger. It's funny, the thought of being told you're in danger. It's like when my parents sat me down, to tell me my mother was sick. It wasn't until they pulled me out of school for her doctor's appointment to discuss treatments that I realized it was real. 

I've faced danger already, I know that much, but the thought of being a target, the thought of someone wanting to hurt me, just doesn't sit in your brain correctly. It's like my brain doesn't know how to process the information because I'm fine right now, in this moment, Harry's arms around tightly wrapped around me, his head buried into my neck, his lips brushing against my skin. He's all I can think about, and I feel safe. 

How can I feel so content in this moment but find an understanding of being in danger? I can't. It doesn't feel real. 

Maybe watching the video will bring a deeper understanding, it could help my brain to process the information, I'll see myself in danger, Harry will see me in danger and I'll be able to place myself back into that moment. 

I'll understand that I could actually be a target. There could be people out there that want something greater from me. Or it might not be me at all. They want my pretty boy to not have me. They want the beautiful man who's pressed against my body, keeping me warm, to suffer. 

That thought alone makes it more real. Not only will he need to comfort me but I'll need to comfort him, assuring him I'm still here. Watching the video could trick his mind again, thinking I'm already gone. 

I can't let anything happen to him. I refuse to be the reason he goes down a dark path. I refuse to have him not having someone tell him how much he deserves, how worthy of love he is, how proud he makes people around him, how lovable he is. 

It's not just me that's a target, it's Harry's sanity, it's his heart and soul, his beautiful soul, my beautiful boy. He's a target and this is real. I'm in danger. He's in danger. 

He also wants to talk to Iris about what's going on, only giving her some of the information we were given. He doesn't want her to know everything we learned, Harry didn't take it well, I don't know how Iris will take it. He doesn't know either, and he's scared of her response. 

I know his thoughts are running the same way mine are. The main question on my mind I'm positive has circulated through his as well.

Were his parents involved?