STRIP

27.

Clementine Adams

After spending almost the entire week with Harry and knowing I'll be back this weekend, I decided today I would go home and sleep in my own bed for the night. I feel like I need some time to wrap my head around everything that's happened between us as well. 

We've been fully wrapped up in each other for the past six days now and as much as I've loved spending time with him, Talia and Harlow are both going to be at the apartment tonight and I want to spend some time with them and with myself. 

After losing my mother I spent so much time with other people, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to sit with my own thoughts for too long, so I avoided it at all costs. It wasn't until years later when I realized being alone is a necessity for my health. For almost sixteen maybe seventeen years, I never knew who I was. I never introduced myself to myself. It's interesting how little you know about yourself until you spend time alone. 

We know how true that is in other relationships, someone in a group could be so different than when they are one-on-one but we often never apply it to ourselves. And as much as I love spending time with Harry, I need one-on-one time right now to think and process everything that's happened. 

I wasn't lying when I said I don't need to forgive him for his past. I wasn't a part of his past, he didn't hurt me and I can't pretend he did. At the time of his testimony, I placed myself in their shoes and imagined as if that's what he was doing right now. We've known each other just barely a month now and if he randomly decided to call it quits I would be heartbroken. 

I then remembered how much he's changed and that he used those women for sex and didn't actually treat them like they were in a relationship and knew I was just trying to feel sorry for myself at the moment. I wasn't one of his fake relationships and I didn't want to be. I also realized I don't want to backtrack in our relationship, part of me almost asked him if he actually loved me or if he told all those girls he loved them quickly to get them to sleep with him. Deep down I knew he wasn't doing that to me. 

"Hey, lovie, you alright?" He asks next to me in the car. 

"Yeah, sorry, was just thinking," I tell him turning to look at his beautiful features. 

"Are you sure you're okay with doing this? I know graveyards probably aren't your favorite place to be," he sighs places his hand on my thigh, and rubbing his thumb along my skin. 

"Also not my favorite place to be," Iris speaks up from the back of the car, "but I'm glad we're doing this, I like coming to talk to them even if it's hard," she admits. 

I'm also glad we're doing this. I think he needs this more than he knows, Iris told me Harry has only come to the grave on the anniversary of their death and never any other time. She also mentioned he would just drop flowers and leave, never speaking a word. He'd head right back to the car while Iris sat there and talked to her parents for a while. He couldn't bring himself to speak to them. When she told me that I was surprised because this was his idea to come here, I just mentioned how he should apologize to them to help ease his mind but I didn't mean he had to come here to do it. 

"I'm proud of you for doing this," I tell him placing my hand over his. 

He quickly flips his hand to interlock with mine and brings it up to his lips to peck the back of my hand multiple times. 

"I love you," he smiles against my hand keeping it presses against his lips.

"You told her?" Iris cheers from the back causing Harry and me to both laugh. 

"Yeah, like a week ago," Harry tilts his head towards the mirror to look at his sister. I turn to see a bright smile on her face. "Oh, by the way, she knew," Harry looks over at me with a grin.