Fanaa (Peter Parker)

Chapter 10

I am terrified why my heart beats madly for things I cannot have.

Don't waste your time over boys with pretty eyes.

Bucky comes and sits next to me on the ledge. I can tell he's annoyed with me and I honestly don't blame him. I'm the one who ignored him and wouldn't talk to him. I mean, I went to Parker for fuck sakes.

I reach in my pocket and pull out a cigarette. "So... want a cigarette?" I offer one to him.

He rolls his eyes and I take that as a sign and put the cigarette back in my pocket. "I can't believe you chose to go to Peter instead of me." Here we go.

I take a hit from the cigarette and hold the smoke in. "Darling, please. You know it's not like that." I let the smoke out.

"Then what's it like Iris? I just wanted to talk to you, be there for you and you shut me out and ran away." He turns to face me with a distressed look on his face.

I turn towards him so that we are both facing each other. "I didn't shut you out, I just needed a second to breathe. I knew once I saw one of you guys, the questions would start rolling in and I wasn't ready for that." I turn away from him and fiddle with my hands. "I know it was wrong for me not to say anything to you, but I honestly just didn't want to talk about it yet." I throw the cigarette out, not feeling in the mood for it anymore.

He shakes his head and lets out a laugh. "You honestly think that I wouldn't understand that?" He stands up and starts pacing around the roof. I can tell I hit a nerve and I can't help but feel worse. "Me of all people would understand if you weren't ready to have a discussion about your past."

I turn around on the roof. I get up and try and stand in front of him to stop his pacing. "Bucky, please I- "

"What, Iris? You're sorry? You didn't mean it?" He stops pacing and stands right in front of me.

I never meant to hurt him. I just thought if I had more time, I would be able to talk about it. I guess you can never truly be ready to face your demons.

I let out a shaky sigh. "Baby, please. You are my best friend. The only person I truly give a shit about on this fucking planet." I sit down on the ledge. "I'm truly sorry I ran away and wouldn't talk to you. I swear it had nothing to do with you." I bit my lip as I feel the black liquid leak from my eyes. "I just wasn't ready to talk about the things Andreas said." I look away from him as I continue to cry.

He sits down next to me and grabs my hand. "Doll, I'm sorry for getting angry. I was just hurt, and I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that." He rubs soothing circles in my hand, but I still face away from him. "You come across as so strong and put together, I never thought this would be eating you up so much on the inside."

I chuckle lightly at his words. "Strong? Put together? I'm a fucking disaster."

He turns my face towards him and wipes the black tears that fell down my face. "Yes, but a beautiful one." I laugh and lean into his hand. "Did you know your eyes turn white when your sad and the weather changes?"

I laugh loudly and he follows suit. "Yes Bucky, I know. Could I tell you why? No. I'm still figuring this whole 'devil' thing out." Our laughter dies down and we sit there holding each other's hand.

He turns towards me. "I'm serious though Doll, whenever you are ready, I'm here to talk. You're my best friend too and I'm honestly grateful to have you around, even if you are a pain in the ass."

I shove his arm harshly and he chuckles. "Yeah yeah, you love me." I stand up and dust myself off. "Well, I'm going to go talk to Steve and Sam, I feel like we leave them out too much. After that, I'm going to go talk to Peter and thank him again."