Her

[9]

Dear Newt,

There was never really a right time to say goodbye. Not when you looked at me with all the hope in your eyes. Not when we were running for our lives in the sea of endless fire and fear. You couldn't have saved me. No one could. I promise. Even now, when I gaze down upon your sleeping body, writing this feels like a knife through my heart...you couldn't have been fast enough. Not to save me...I'm sorry. Everywhere I go, everything I see reminds me of you. Whether it's the way the sun lights up a room as though it's supposed to be there or the stars in the night sky proving there's beauty even in darkness. You've always been my stars. And it breaks my heart knowing what I have to do. I'll miss you. Forever. I want you to know that I'm not scared, not of dying that is. I'm scared that if I don't do this I'll lose myself and forget more than just the little things, that ill forget...you. I remember the first time I saw you - back in the glade - I knew instantly I was going to fall in love. I would have followed you three anywhere and I have. If I could do t all over again, if I could go back to the start, I wouldn't change a thing and my hope for you is that one day years from now, you'll feel the same way. You'll look back and not just remember the pain and the loss and the heartbreaks but everyone you saved and the world you changed. You deserve to be happy, you couldn't have been that with me. Even with this virus slowly gnawing at my brain, I know this is true. Promise me, Newt. Promise you'll look after them. Promise you won't give up no matter how angry and scared you're feeling. I've been torn apart and destroyed for so long, It's time for me to close my eyes but know I'll only dream off you. No matter how tragic our story ended, between our hello and goodbye there was happiness and there was love. You will experience that again eventually, but in a different story with a different person. Please, please don't hate me for this.

I'll be with you always,

I love you.