IncuBUST

Reckless

"Can...can we talk about this later?" Barapha asked stepping closer. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to finish what I had started. That first kiss had barely taken the edge off.

"No," I said, "No. I want to talk about it now. Are we dating?" A smile pulled at his pale, pink lips and he replied, "Well we are going on a date Tuesday so..."

"I'm serious, Barapha. I want to know if we're...if we are..." I glared down at the floor, heat concentrating in my face. I heard him move closer, felt his smooth frigid fingers beneath my chin coaxing me to look up at him. The smile on his face made me feel angry and embarrassed.

"Are you trying to ask if we're a couple?" he asked. I scoffed and turned away from him muttering, "Nevermind. It's stupid." He grabbed me by the wrist and said, "No, Chase, it's not stupid." I glanced at him and was surprised to see the smile gone from his face. It had been replaced with an almost painful openness.

"I like...being around you, Chase," he began slowly, "I like talking to you...I like that you-you actually listen when I speak and aren't afraid to disagree with me...I also like that I don't feel like I have to talk when I'm around you. I like that I don't have to be...on all the time..." His breathing was almost erratic by the time he had finished and his grip on my wrist was so tight my hand was starting to go numb.

I blinked at him in shock. Of all the ways this conversation had played out in my head, this wasn't one of them. I shook my head slowly and asked, "So...what does that mean? F-for us?"

"Does it have to mean anything right now? Can't this just be what it is?" Barapha asked and he grabbed almost desperately at my hips drawing me closer. I stared up into his face, at the expression of...I'd almost call it shame, and I nodded.

"Of course," I said softly reaching up to touch his cheek, feeling his skin smooth as silk beneath my fingertips. I raised up onto my toes and pressed my lips gently against his. His hands moved from my hips to my back, sapping warmth from my flesh.

My fingers tangled in his soft white hair, arms curling around the back of his neck. His hands trailed down the sides of my torso to my thighs and he hoisted me into the air his lips stuck to mine. My ankles locked behind his back and he carried me to the sofa.

He plopped down on the couch, and I landed on top of him drawing the glowing blue thread of  life out of his body and into mine. A snow storm was raging in my head. Goosebumps pricked at my bare arms. The fire left my limbs, curling around my core. I could finally breathe.

I pulled away from him breathing hard and rested my forehead against his. He touched my face, fingertips skimming my cheekbones, rounding the curve of my jaw and he whispered, "Don't stop. Please." I gently brushed his hair back off his forehead and pressed my lips against his skin, taking back a measure of heat.

"We have all night," I murmured pulling back. An uncommonly tender smile stretched across his face and he asked, "Do you mean that?"

"Quetz isn't expecting you, is he?" I inquired sitting back on the tops of his thighs. He grinned and replied, "I do what I want." I scoffed, half annoyed and half amused and shook my head. After a moment, my smile faded and I looked into his cool blue eyes.

"I will want to talk about it again, you know. Sometime soon," I murmured tucking his hair behind his left ear, the pad of my thumb skimming his cheek. His lips pressed together in a hard line and a crease appeared between his snowy eyebrows. After a long moment he said, "Why don't you tell me what you want this to be, Chase? Tell me and I'll see what I can do."

 I sighed and fiddled absentmindedly with the frayed collar of his shirt. Several seconds passed before I began, "I...I like you, Barapha. At first I felt like I shouldn't, but now...You've shown me a side of yourself that I don't think a lot of people get to see." My gaze moved back to meet his and I continued, "That makes me feel really...warm inside. Your trust means everything to me. But...sometimes there are things that you bring out of me...parts of myself that I don't really like."

"There is nothing about yourself that you shouldn't like, Chase," Barapha said and I felt tears suddenly pricking at my eyes.

"You make me feel a little crazy," I whispered. He grinned.

"I like crazy."

"And reckless."

"Being reckless is fun," Barapha said and I shook my head saying, "No, I'm a responsible person. I have to be. It's kind of my thing. But when I'm with you I tend to throw caution to the wind. I start to feel like I can do anything. Like my actions don't have consequences." He tilted his head to one side and replied, "That's okay sometimes, you know. It's okay to be reckless and crazy like at least three times a week. Maybe even more."

I couldn't suppress a laugh.