IncuBUST

I Know How You Feel

"He's...He's a friend," I said slowly watching Quetz retreating form.

"What was he talking about? Who would pretend to be okay with what?" Nikolai asked sitting back and exhaling loudly his fingers gripping his knees.

"Uh," I replied. This was ridiculous. I wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't like Barapha and I were 'going steady.' I suddenly remembered how I felt when Barapha told me he had a boyfriend 'Roommate I have sex with. Whatever you wanna call it.' We had only spent one night together and yet I felt hurt...betrayed. I couldn't imagine Barapha feeling like that...actually I could and it was frightening.

I abruptly stood up and said, "I need to go. Do you want me to drive you home?" Nikolai looked up at me and tilted his head to the side.

"Are you involved with someone?" he asked. I blinked several times and then shook my head saying, "I don't really know actually." Nikolai stood up as well and said, "That man. He was angry. Really angry that you were kissing me...but it didn't feel like he was jealous. It felt like he was..." He trailed off and pressed his lips together staring into my face.

"Like he was defending someone else or something," he finished. I looked at the ground and sighed.

"There's this guy I've been hanging out with recently. I don't even know if you'd call them dates. And that man was Quetz...his roommate slash sort of boyfriend." I shook my head again and muttered, "It's kind of complicated."

"Sounds like it," Nikolai said sticking his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. "But if he already has a boyfriend then what claim does he have on you?"

"He doesn't!" I exclaimed before crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the ground. Barapha didn't have any claim over me. I thought back to the night we spent together. What he had said to me. That I made him feel like it was okay to say things that really mattered. I felt my heart thud heavily in my chest. Perhaps he did have some sort of claim on me. And maybe I was okay with that.

"You like him," Nikolai said, and he didn't sound upset. "Whoever that guy Quetz was talking about. You may not be involved with him but you'd...you'd like to be." I laughed awkwardly and removed my glasses cleaning them with the edge of my shirt.

"That—that's a clever ability you got there," I mumbled. Nikolai smiled sadly and replied, "I know people don't usually like it when someone else tells them how they are feeling. I'm sorry." I shook my head and said, "I think it would be extremely useful having someone to tell me what I'm feeling. It gets a little confusing in here."

"It does, doesn't it?" he said and I looked up at him. He looked up at the sky and took a deep breath before saying, "I think I'll walk home." He stepped towards me and cupped my face in his hand, leaning forward and pressing his lips gently against mine. I sighed again at the strange warmth. He pulled away too soon.

"Dating as an empath is kind of hard," he said smoothing his thumb across my cheek. "So if things don't work out with this mystery guy...I'll be here." His hand fell away from my face and he started walking back towards the parking lot. I exhaled slowly and blinked back tears. Why did I feel like I had just been dumped? I rubbed my eyes and shoved my glasses back onto my face before shuffling back down the trail.

By the time I had gotten back to the parking lot, Nikolai was gone. I got into the driver's seat and sighed. I heard a buzzing. My cell phone had somehow found its way under my seat. I reached for it and found that Octavia had texted me eight times since I had left her aunt's house.

Are you okay?

God, Aunt Charlotte is such a bitch.

She shouldn't have said that to you.

Are you with Nikolai?

He's a little weirder than I remember.

But wicked hot!

You should date him.

He's way better than Burafa.

I smiled at her tragic misspelling of Barapha's name. I messaged her back saying that I was fine and Nikolai was fine and I was on my way home and that she could text me whenever she wanted to. Then I started the car and fifteen minutes later I was pulling into the Center Park underground parking garage.