Conversations my brain and I have

Disclaimer and TW

Probably should put a TW and a disclaimer:

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Social Anxiety. I was diagnosed at 4 years old with OCD and ADHD and at 12 years old with Social Anxiety.

OCD isn't just obsessive cleanliness (although it can present itself that way). It's intrusive thoughts (unwelcome, repetitive, and unpleasant thoughts or ideas) and desperately doing "rituals" to get rid of said thoughts only for them to come back up. The intrusive thoughts being the "Obsessive" part and rituals being the "Compulsive" part.

ADHD also isn't "omg I'm such a crackhead 🤪" it's poor impulse control, having trouble understanding "simple" things, surrounding yourself in hyperfixations that you spend too much time and money on and neglect your own health because of, not being able to get enough sleep, caffeine making you tired, and overall feeling overwhelmed and as though you aren't enough.

Don't think I have to explain social anxiety to you but it's often confused with Narcissism which is very wrong. It's not "ugh why is everyone looking at me?" It's more like "Is anyone looking at me? Did I do something wrong? Oh god maybe they hate me. Maybe they hate how I look or speak or walk. Why did that person make eye contact with me? Why are they walking over here? Oh please don't talk to me. I can't speak now. Why can't I speak? I shouldn't have come here. I want to go home."

If you are sensitive to:
Intrusive Thoughts
Sexual Things
Mentions of Violence/Gore
Mentions of Abuse
Among other disturbing things

Then, for your safety, please don't continue.

But if you struggle with similar things and want someone to relate to or you just want to see what it's like inside the mind of someone who has been mentally ill since they can remember, keep reading. It's good to have you.

Btw my brain talking will be in italics and bold: Like this.
And me talking will be normal: Like this.

Ok now enjoy

-Ollie