Lover

Chapter 25. Losing You, Losing Me

Taylor's POV:

It wasn't pain.

It wasn't anger.

It wasn't fear.

It was just...numbness.

I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to feel anything. Sometimes I stared at the ceiling for hours and hours. Sometimes when I fed the cats, I realized that I haven't eaten all day myself. I didn't remember to do anything. I slept most of the time and cleaned the house in the rest. It was like I was trying to get rid of his traces when I wiped everything clean. But the sad reality was that I couldn't wipe him out of my mind.

Everyone kept calling and texting me but I didn't have the energy to reply back. I picked up mom's call only to let her know that I was fine. She said that she would be coming over soon for Christmas so we could talk about how all of this happened. I didn't want her to come over for the very first time in my life. I didn't want anyone near me. I didn't know how to tell them that it was me who forced this break-up. I didn't know how to tell them that I deserved the pain I had implemented on my self. I didn't want the pain to lessen because I knew he was going through it as well. I didn't want to be comforted knowing that he was grunting in pain alone. I wanted to punish myself like I had punished him.

And I was doing a marvelous job at that...

It had only been three days since he went away. But they were more excruciating than hell for me. I convinced myself that it be okay as time passes but nothing was happening. I had nightmares about him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And there were more chances of me dying than moving on from him.

He only called me once, on the night that we broke up. I remembered it was 1 A.M and my hands were shaking as I refused to pick it up. Then after that he didn't try to call again. And even though I knew I wouldn't pick up, I still wanted him to call. I wanted him to try. Maybe because deep now I knew I was going to give in to his apologies.

I was lying on my couch staring at the ceiling when I heard the doorbell ring. I tiresomely got up and looked through the peephole.

It was Tree.

I opened the door and was immediately met with her hard scowl.  "I need to talk to you about something." She said coming inside. I had been ignoring her calls too. I didn't have the energy to deal with anyone anymore.

"Tree you know I'm not in the mood to deal with anything. Put off whatever wo-" I started to say but she abruptly cut me off.

"-Its about Joe." She said looking at my face with the most serious expression.

My heart quickened in my chest at the mention of his name. "I don't want to know anything about him" I lied. I was dying to know anything about him.

"Taylor it's urgent." She snapped when I turned around to sit on my couch carelessly. I didn't reply and she took that as an invitation to say what she wanted to. "I know I shouldn't bother you about this since you both aren't together anymore but... Joe's missing. He called me two days ago then after that he just disappeared." She said sitting beside me.

My heart slammed so hard in my chest that I thought it was going to leap out at any given moment. "What do you mean missing?" I was trying to keep myself calm but the conversation wasn't helping nor the expressions on Tree's face.

"After he called me, I tried to reach out to him again but his phone was off. The next morning I tracked his previous call with some help and went to the hotel he was staying in. He wasn't there either. " It suddenly felt like the room was sucked out of air. I couldn't breathe as Tree explained the situation, "I contacted his family after that but they haven't heard from him either. It's been two days. All his stuff is still at the hotel but he is not. I thought I would inform you." Tree wringed her hands in distress as I stared at her with dead eyes.

Joe was missing...

He might be hurt...

He might be in pain...

"Wh-what did he say to you on the pho-phone?" I tried to inhale some air but my lungs felt empty. Tree looked me in the eyes then turned her head downwards making my heart come up to my throat. " Tree what did he say!" Tears brimmed in my eyes.

She took her phone out and after swiping through some stuff extended it towards my direction, "I recorded the call..." She said and the call started...

I heard his hiccups and breathless murmurs as he cried. His pained voice filled the air in the room, ""I-I r-ruined everything. Taylor h-hates me. It's the end..." I heard him sniff and stutter as he tried to speak through the tears.

"Joe please stay calm it's going to be alright." Then Tree's voice came in, "She loves you. You know that!" She tried to convince him.

"Not anymore..." I heard him say, "She kicked me out and took the key. She doesn't want me back anymore." Tears slipped down my cheeks before I even realized they were there. "If I d-don't survive this. Please let her know that I loved her. With e-every second of the day and every breath I loved her..."

And the recording ended.

Tree placed her hand on mine when she saw that I was visibly shaking after hearing the call. "I-If something happens to him... I won't survive, Tree." This was the only thing I was sure of.

"Nothing will happen to him Taylor. I just wanted you to know that he did what he did out of pure love and fear for your safety. He didn't mean any harm. He was already guilty of what he was doing. He knew that he was risking his relationship with you. He knew how much it'll hurt him if you let him go. But he still did it because he couldn't risk you getting hurt. He loves you more than he loves anything in the world." She spoke with concern.

"You were there weren't you?" I asked. From how she was talking I was sure that Tree came over when I was unconscious.

She nodded, "He was afraid. He was guilty. And he begged me not to tell you because he knew you'll never trust him after this ever again. He wanted few more days with you until hell broke loose. And it did. I had never seen him this helpless all my life." She said to me.

"I don't want anything to happen to him. Even if we aren't together anymore. I have to find out where he is..." I said getting off the couch and grabbing my phone. She nodded and got up to follow behind me.

I was going to search the whole world if I had to. He was my lifeline. And if it faded then I would be no more...

*************

Hello Lovers!
Thank you for sticking around this long.

I never forget about you guys, I'm just going through a hard time right now. This story helps me forget about all the other things in my life which is a huge relief!

Let me know where you think Joe might be. If three people guess it right, I might upload the next chapter in three days 😜

HINT: I've mentioned this place before in my story!

Love, Nora. ❤️