complicated | Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott

"Would you love her back?"

He paces. He paces around and around the living room. He hasn't slept more than four hours in two days. Mainly because his mind won' switch off but also due to the nightmares he gets as soon as his eyes closed. The kind of nightmares that make his heart hammer against his chest and he wakes up in sweat. His hair is messy, out of place due to the constant fingers through his hair. His veins filled with caffeine as he continues to walk around the living room as if it would solve all his problems.

"Theo you're making me dizzy" Colette states watching him from the sofa. She hugs a mug of tea towards her chest when Theo glances in her direction. He lets out a soft sigh in apology. 

"Sorry" He mumbles walking over and taking a seat next to her. He lets out a long sigh, sitting back against the old cushions. He rubs his fingers across his face then stares towards the ceiling. "What's it like having normal parents?" He asks rolling his head to look at Colette. Colette's lips twitch slightly which makes Theo feel a little better. He can still amuse people despite his current mental state.

"You mean what's it like having non death eater parents?" She asks her tone showing amusement "It's great."

"No I mean normal like they hardy exist in the wizarding world. You said they live as muggles right?" Theo watches as Colette sips on her tea and stares at him thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"I mean I don't know any different but it's quiet nice. They gave me the option to go to Hogwarts or Muggle school but when you're eleven and being told you can go to a magic school obviously you're going to pick that" She chuckles slightly and tucks her hair behind her ear. Theo wonders what that would be like - having parents that respect you enough to let you make choices for yourself.

"Do you regret it?"

"I don't think so" She says a small crease forming in-between her eyebrows. "I think sometimes it's easy to wonder what if and compare the possibilities but no I don't think I regret it" Colette says sighing slightly. "I miss my parents" she admits which is something that Theo doesn't quite know how to handle. He doesn't miss her father and yes he misses his mum but it's a different kind of miss. Colette misses her parents in a homesick way. Theo misses his mum in a I'm-never-seeing-her-again way.

"You'll see them soon" Theo replies hopelessly. Colette smiles at him as if to say she wasn't expecting him to say anything.

"You'll see Sofia soon" Colette replies with an sure nod. Theo holds her eye contact for a few seconds. He wonders what exactly she means by that? Was she comparing Sofia to his family. She wouldn't be wrong to do that. He supposes he has a found family within his friends. Theo realises that he can't read deeper meanings into Colette's words because he doesn't know her well enough. Or maybe it's just because she isn't his best friend. Theo can do that with Sofia. He can sense it. Sense her presence and read her emotions easily. If he were to brag he'd say that he knows Sofia better than anyone else because he spent time analysing her before he allowed himself to get close to her. Theo has always been wary of people, who to let in and who to trust. He learnt from a young age that people who love you will eventually leave; by choice or by death and sometimes the people that are supposed to love you, unconditionally, don't. It isn't that he doesn't believe in love, he does but he find it unreliable and unattainable. 

-

Hogwarts is darker. Not physically but the feeling of darkness feels the surroundings. Its cold and dark. The idea of going to Hogwarts was Blaise's after stating that their safe house wasn't safe anymore. Colette and Theo had no better suggestion so they agreed to return to the school. They had no idea what they would be stepping into. They managed to go unnoticed. It isn't like they weren't supposed to be there. That is exactly where they were supposed to be. They are supposed to be in school, finishing school, doing exams then they should be celebrating before going off into the world of work.