complicated | Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott

'Fuck it'

Theo Notts

What's your escape? You know that one thing that you use to numb pain or to escape the reality you're living in. Everyone has one.

Theo's is substance. He wouldn't say he was an abuser of substance but he did use it to escape from his mind. Theo remember's the first time he drank whiskey, how it burnt and how he thought it was too disgusting to drink again. He drunk it again, and again and again. Eventually the burn went away and he started to understand why people drunk it. Theo found it fascinating, how alcohol could change someone. He loved how it made him feel. He felt relaxed and numb. He slept peacefully, normally dream free.

Theo is sitting at the desk in his dorm. There is only one desk, which was stupid because their is three of them but they hardly ever need to use it at the same time. In fact Theo is sure he is the only one that uses it. There's a glass of whiskey sat next to a candle in front of him. His quill rests between his fingers as he stares at the words he has written on the page.

You'll never know pain until everything you've ever known is ripped away. Torn away from you in just one day. Your family. Your home. Your safety. Everything. It's just gone.

The reason they name storms after people is because they destroy lives.

He reaches for the whiskey glass, dropping his quill in the process. He tips his head back as he drinks. He closes his eyes as he swallows and sighs. His index finger taps against the glass as he spread his legs out in front of him. His eyes still closed.

"What are you doing?" Sofia's voice says making Theo jump slightly, opening his eyes and turning to look at her. She's closing the dorm door when Theo sees her. Theo flips his diary closed as Sofia walks close to him. She glances at the glass in his hand and raises an eyebrow. "How much have you drunk?" Sofia asks frowning slightly. She now stands in front of Theo, almost between his legs. When Theo doesn't answer Sofia gently takes the whiskey glass out of his hand. Theo just watches her soft and gentle movements.

"Why are you do nice Sof?" Theo asks, his voice was slurred. He didn't realise he was that drunk. Sofia chuckles softly and shakes her head at him. "You shouldn't waste your time on people like me"

"I think you should go to bed" Sofia states, giggling slightly. Theo gives her a dopey smile, tipping his head back and groaning. Theo feels Sofia tug on his arms, trying to get him to stand up "Theo" Sofia mumbles "Why do you do this?" She whispers but Theo isn't sure if she wanted the answer from him.

"'M okay Sof you can go" Theo mumbles pushing himself off the chair. The world shifts under his feet and stumbles just slightly before Sofia's hands are either side of his waist. Theo looks down at her and pouts his bottom lip out "Maybe one day I'll you" Theo whispers before he bops her on the nose. He watches as Sofia's noses scrunches at the touch and she gives him a look of confusion.

"Tell me what?" Sofia asks as she begins to guide Theo over to his bed. What would he tell her? He could tell her a number of things. Things that would shock her, things that would change her view on him. He could tell her about his father or how he watched his mother die on the kitchen floor.

"The truth" Theo whispers, his eyes drooping as he sits onto his bed. The springs bounce him slightly. Theo feels fingers run through his hair, pushing it off his face. He liked it, it felt nice. He liked it when people played with his hair. His mum used to play with his hair. He misses her.

Theo falls onto his back, is head hitting the pillows. He hums softly knowing he was about to get a peaceful night sleep. He didn't even know what the time was. He didn't care. He craved the feeling of a dreamless sleep.