There Is No Coincidences in Life

Bewilderment

I know Jimmy so well. He is not those type who like to play social media a lot, but he will make IG story sometimes, when he really want to. That's why I always know what he think just by looking at his story.

This time, he post a pic of crescent moon with "miss" as a caption.

Who did he miss? Did he miss me? But if he really miss me, I am sure he will reply my messages and answer my calls from a long time ago.

I am curious, but deep down in my heart, I hesitate. I keep thingking and can't hold my fingers to type something.

Nong, who did you miss?|

Holding my breath, I don't know what to do. I want to ask him so bad, want to chat with him about trivial thing as usual, but I couldn't bring myself to send those message. In the end, all the letters that I type with a lot of weight and effort, I discarded right away.

I released my breath slowly, hoping that it will ease my uneasiness. But, the reality didn't go as expected.

I feel so empty.

We used to be together and share a lot of things with each other. Not just important thing, we even share the most trivial thing in our life. So, when Nong keep his distance from me just for a week, I already feel so drained and empty.

"I am sorry, P'. I barely remember that I have an important meeting with P'Kla. I am going."

That day, after I introduce P'New as my lover, he left just like that.

Because of our close relationship, we can read each other mind just by looking at each other's face. But that time, other than confusion and uneasiness, I can't read what's exactly in his mind.

That day, his long legs move so fast and he seem so rushed as if he is being pursued. I can't to not feel worried, so I call p'Kla right away to ask about him. But, p'Kla said that he didn't have any appointment with Jimmy.

With mixed feeling, I left p'New and went straight to Nong's condo. But, I didn't find him. I try to reach him through his phone all the time, but he didn't answer.

I am worried that something bad happen to him, so I try to reach everyone that I knew, asking whether they meet or being contacted by Nong. But still, no news from him except he has to shoot his new series the next day, something that I already know from Nong himself.

That day, I can't sleep cz of worry.

And the next day, I know about him from other member, but at the same time, I know that he avoid me.

***

Inhale, exhale ....

Inhale, exhale ....

In front of Jimmy's room, I hesitate to reach the bell. I know he want to avoid me in this period of time, but I can't refrain myself from coming to his condo every morning, hoping that he will be there, ready to meet me.

Unfortunately, that's just my wishful thingking.

The fact that I press the bell for God knows how many times, but I can't feel Nong's presence at all is the evidence. Nong isn't here for a long time.

Without Jimmy, I can't recharge my energy.

Nong, can we meet soon?

When I drowned in sorrow, my phone is vibrating. It's a message from p'New.

P'New: Can I hear a good news today?

P'New's message make me feel bad. So bad. She is so patient eventhough I did a lot of thing that hurt her for this whole week---busy with my own thing to find Jimmy.