Season One, Episode Three - Melinda Courtney Sally Lord Voldemort

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Good day, mate! My name is Melinda Courtney Sally Lord Voldemort, though you may know me as the elderly pregnant dog who watched her loved one pass away before her very eyes. I still can't believe that old fool ate the three month old poisonous spaghetti that I offered him and didn't even question it. Yes you heard, it was me. I killed him. It was quite fun watching him calling for "Mother Lucy." He also kept saying something about a neon green flower print swimsuit?

I am actually a koala spy working for the Austrailians, and I regret nothing. Even though I am pregnant with his child, I never loved him, he still holds a special place in my heart though. He smelled like McDoubles and McNuggets, although he once brought me a McFlurry. That was a wonderful day for me and probably was the only reason he held a special place in my heart. The Australians are so much better than the dumb fucks of Americans. No offense. They eat too many fast food burgers and burritos. What the fuck is wrong with them?

I will now report to my fellow koalas and plan our next move. Ronald McDonald's sisters and brothers can GO TO HELL!!!

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