Again, I Lost

4

Ynna
May 18, Morning
Somewhere in Manila

"Pick up please..."

Ilang beses ko nang tinawagan si Hyan pero hindi pa rin niya sinasagot. He either ended the call or turned off his phone.

"Argh!" Sigaw ko sa kalagitnaan ng daan kaya may mga nagtinginan sa akin. Hindi ko na lang pinansin 'yon at nagdere-deretso pabalik sa kotse ko.

I immediately texted Mico, his friend na nag-text sa 'kin kanina where Hyan was.

To: Mico
Hyan wasn't there. He's not answering my calls too. Kung magkasama kayo, please pakisabi na lang. Kung saan saan mo pa ako pinapapunta, Mico.

Few minutes before I started the engine, he replied.

From: Mico
HAHAAH sorry, Ynna. Hindi ko siya kasama, I swear.
But he texted me kung nasaan siya.
Want to know?

To: Mico
Of course, you prick!

I imagined his laugh kaya mas lalo akong nainis. Hyan...that man. Hindi ba niya ako hinahanap?

A few seconds, Mico sent me an address kung nasaan si Hyan. Agad ko namang pinuntahan 'yon.

Cemetery.

I parked my car and started walking inside. I know now where he is.

And I'm right. He's sitting in front of his lolo's grave. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papalapit at umupo katabi niya.

He didn't look at me kaya napasimangot ako.

"I'm sorry..." I told him.

He was just staring at his lolo's name leaving traces of his fingers. His face was blank. Na-guilty ako lalo.

"I'm sorry..." Ulit ko pero hindi man lang niya ako pinansin.

Silence sorround us kaya hindi na ako nakatiis.

"I'm sorry na mahal... sorry if I made you feel that way. Hindi na mauulit. Just please...talk to me.."

He looked at me and breathed heavily.

"I am disappointed, Ynnazhein. I really am." Sagot niya na nakapagpasimangot lalo sa akin.

Imbis na sagutin ko siya, I talked to Lolo Rey.

"Lolo...please tell Hyan that I'm so sorry.. I just did that for us..Hindi ko naman po alam na magagalit si--"

"I'm disappointed, not angry. Magkaiba 'yon." Pagtigil niya sa 'kin.

I pouted.

"Mahal...hindi na mauulit. I just thought it will be beneficial for you and for the both of us.. hindi ko naman alam na ganon ang mafe-feel m--" He stopped me again.

"Ynna naman, abroad 'yong sinasabi mo. Tingin mo ba magiging maganda para sa 'tin 'yon? We have works here! Hindi pa ba sapat na nagta-trabaho ako pati ikaw? Ynna, ayoko ng ganon..Selfish na kung selfish."

After he said that, he stood up and bid goodbye to Lolo Rey.

Agad ko siyang sinundan.

"Mahal, I'm sorry. Hindi ko naman kukunin 'yon... I just shared the thought with you..."

He stopped walking so I stopped walking too.

"Kahit ngayon lang, Ynna. Gusto ko maging selfish. I've always want to run away with you, but not this way..."

I smiled.

"I won't... I'm sorry. Hindi ko rin naman gusto 'yon. Sorry na..."

Bumuntong hininga siya ng malalim bago ako kinabig para mayakap.