Again, I Lost

7

Ynna
April 2
Club

Pumasok kami ni Hyan kasama si Rein at ang boyfriend niya nang pare-parehong hindi magkaintindihan sa lakas ng tugtog. Hyan was holding my hand while we're walking, ganon din si EJ kay Rein, her boyfriend.

It's our monthsary so we decided to go here tonight so I invited them. Bonding na rin naming apat kasi hindi na kami nakakalabas na magkakasama. EJ's too busy for I don't know what things he do that's why Rein always rants over him.

"Careful," Hyan whispered at my ear when I almost bumped to a guy. I awkwardly smiled at him and whispered 'sorry'.

Nang makaupo kami sa isang table, agad na umorder ng drinks si EJ. Si Hyan, naman, foods ang inorder. While Rein, she's busy looking at the crowd, balak na atang magsayaw.

I laughed. "Rein!" Malakas kong sigaw para marinig niya kasi magkatapat kami.

Tumingin naman siya sa 'kin agad nang nagtatanong. Tinuro ko ang crowd.

"You want to dance?" I asked again, shouting.

She looked at me and smiled awkwardly. Umiling siya kaya napatango na lang ako. I just know it. It's simply because of EJ. Paniguradong nag-usap na sila about sa pagpunta dito. Sa lahat ng bagay, pinagbabawalan niya si Rein and I don't want that thing for Rein but I don't have a choice. It's their relationship. Masyado man akong naiinis sa relasyon nila dahil sa sobrang paghihigpit ni EJ, hindi naman ako pwedeng makialam.

Nang bumalik si Hyan at EJ, nakita kong agad na bumalik ang tingin ni Rein sa table, putting a smile on her face kahit na alam kong hindi siya masaya.

"Yey! Happy monthsary sainyo!" Rein shouted. I just smiled.

"Happy monthsary, mahal!" I shouted too na agad na nireplyan ni Hyan ng bulong.

"I love you."

Umalis ulit si Hyan dahil may kukunin daw siya and laking gulat ko nang may dala na siyang cake pagkabalik. He was smiling the whole time he's putting the cake on the table while watching me smiles. He never disappoints me. He always make me kilig and I really appreciates every effort he makes for me.

When he sat next to me, he wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the lips.

"Happy monthsary, mahal..."

"Happy monthsary." I replied.

For the following weeks, naging busy kami pareho. I also decided to move out for a new place alone. It was hard. I had to provide for my needs, for the furnitures I need, and so on. Nevertheless, I am happy. Hindi nga lang naging masaya yung mga kasunod na araw dahil namatay ang kapatid ni daddy, si tito Eli. Pero kahit ganon, naging maayos naman lahat.

Naging sobrang busy lang kami pareho ni Hyan. He had a project to do and I was also busy in my work. Hindi ko na lang rin minsan pinapansin kung gaano kami ka-busy dahil alam ko na pag-aawayan lang namin kung magde-demand pa ako ng time. We we're both busy for the future. It's a good thing naman.

After a month, dumalas na rin ang pag-aaway naming dalawa, different reasons, simple things, time. Humihirap na para sa 'kin lalo na naga-adjust pa ako sa buhay mag-isa. It's hard to live alone but I chose that path kaya kahit papaano, masaya pa rin ako. I am indeed happy that I chose to be independent at my age.

But...me and Hyan? I don't know.

Ynna
May 10
Hospital, Lunch Break

"I'm sure, magtatampo sayo si mommy. It's her birthday today. Hindi ka ba talaga makakapunta?" Malungkot kong tanong kay Hyan over the phone. Malungkot ko ring tinutusok-tusok ang kanin na nasa harapan ko.