Linstead: What Was Meant To Be

Jay's POV

I reluctantly limped into the Treatment Room directly opposite Erin's with my escort Nurse Monique.

"Take a seat Detective." She said as she pulled on some blue latex gloves.

I slumped weakly onto the bed.

All I could think about was Erin.

She had to be ok. She just had to. Because I could never live a day on this earth without her.

Monique gave me an exam, before coming to a determination.

"Ok you're going to need a few stitches in your arm but otherwise you should be fine." She said calmly.

I nodded, although I couldn't really comprehend anything anybody was saying to me right now.

I could physically feel how pale my face was, and I couldn't suppress the subtle shake that was lingering in my hands.

"Detective, you partner is going to be fine." Monique said empathetically.

"She's not just my partner. She's literally my everything." I mumbled.

"Regardless, you did amazing with her. And now you have the two best doctors in Chicago working to carry her over the finish line." Monique explained as she drew my blood.

"I should have gotten her to open up more to me about Nadia's death. Her head wasn't screwed on straight, and it was on me to see that. If I had, she wouldn't have gotten herself stabbed." I sniffed guiltily.

"You cannot blame yourself for this! You weren't the one who hurt her."

"No. I was the one who was supposed to protect her. And I failed pretty miserably." I finished.

"Monique can I see you for a second?" Asked Natalie as she poked her head around the door.

"Oh, hey Jay." She said, her tone being shot out of the sky as soon as her words flew from her mouth.

I sniffed again, and hastily wiped away the newly-formed tears that were stinging my eyes before replying.

"Hey Nat. *ahem* How's Erin?" I asked.

"She is...bleeding internally. She is in surgery. The knife went through her lower intestine and damaged the Inferior Mesentric Artery." Natalie explained.

"That sounds bad." I sighed.

"I'll be honest with you Jay, it's not great. The Inferior Mesentric Artery is the main blood supply to the Large Intestine. Dr Choi and Will are doing their best work in the OR. We will keep you updated." She said professionally.

Holy shit. This was bad.

I couldn't do anything to help the love of my life: nothing at all.

I couldn't see, couldn't speak.

"Jay? Jay are you ok?" Nurse Monique asked.

I felt even more sick than I did before, which FYI, I didn't think was possible without throwing up.

My vision enclosed into a blurry tunnel as my world slipped through my fingers...