gamer boy - minsunglix

twenty-four

(hyunin/jeongchan chapter; not revised)

chan had left nearly an hour ago. jeongin was asleep in the arms of hyunjin while the holder brushed his hair out of his face, admiring his beauty.

while staring at the young boy he felt a pain in his heart to know that underneath his humorous and beautiful facade was masked misery. that this whole past year while they played games with each other online, he was alone in his home, fighting back the tears that nobody was there to love him.

so hyunjin decided he'd do anything and everything to make up for the years he didn't feel loved.

"i wish you knew how in love with you i am." hyunjin said knowing the boy couldn't hear him, but it felt good to say it out loud.

just as hyunjin went to shut his eyes again, a loud ding from his phone rang getting a text notification. the phone screen light up the dark room which hurried hyunjin to turn down the brightness and check the message, hoping it haven't woken up the sleeping boy.

chan: i know that we aren't on the greatest terms and i know how much you care for him and think i'm getting in the way, but despite how we feel, jeongin needs to come first. take care of him please.

hyunjin: i hate to admit that you're right. but chan don't get me wrong, i think you're a great person. you treat everyone so kind heartedly and are always respectful to us, but i hope you know that i love him, a fucking lot. and it hurts so bad to know he loves you, he wants you, and that he thinks of you in his future, not me. he's been the first person to ever understand me and show me what it's like to have a real friend.

chan: i can see that you love him every time you look at him. but i really do care for him so i guess this is a way of saying you have 2 years until you have me as a competition. use your time wisely and i hope we can still be friends despite this.

hyunjin down at the text. there is no competition, chan. you already won.

hyunjin: no need to worry about a competition. i may love him, but i'm not stupid. he loves you. not me.

jeongin had woken up midst of hyunjins texting but didn't want to interrupt. he didn't beat the messages because he was facing the other way so he had no clue who hyunjin was talking to at 1:00AM. as soon as the long haired boy set down the phone, jeongin turned around facing him and snuggled closer to his chest.

"did i wake you?"

"yeah but that's alright. who texted?"

"chan"

that's when jeongin lifted his head off the mattress and looked around to see no chan. "h-he left without saying goodbye?" he spoke shakily.

"baby don't cry, you wouldn't let him go after he said goodbye and he has work this morning so he waited by your side the entire night until you fell asleep." hyunjin wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and kissed the top of his head.

"kiss me"

"jeongin, you like ch-"

"he's not here and he doesn't like me anyways like that. just kiss me...please." desperation filled his tone. as if his sex drive was an illness and lips were his drug.

but he does like you like that. "a-are you just using me for sex?"

"hyunjin, we've done this so many times before whats stopping you now?"

"because i caught feelings and you know that jeongin. cant you see that i'm in love with you?!" hyunjin slightly raised his voice causing the younger boy to flinch and tuck his arms over his head. he was scared. "fuck, i'm so sorry baby. i won't yell again. i promise." hyunjin pulled the boys body to lay on top of his own and held him tight.

"it's not your fault"

"no baby, i yelled that time. im so sorry, and- and just forget about what i said." hyunjin picked up the boys head and pressed his lips against jeongins.

jeongin cried as he kissed back. he felt overwhelmed and wasn't sure of what to do. he heard what hyunjin said. how he's in love with him. he already knew that. he knew by the way hyunjin looks at him, that simple action makes him feel so loved.

it made him feel a sense of guilt knowing that he couldn't return the love in the way hyunjin wanted him to.

jeongin wished during this kiss all his problems would go away. but that's not how reality works. not when your kissing a drug that isn't made for you.

hyunjin pulled away as he felt the youngers lips come to a halt.

"i'm sorry...i can't keep doing this to you, jinnie." the younger boy said resting a hand on hyunjins cheek, caressing it with his thumb slowly. "i can't keep sleeping with you for my own benefit just because i want it. especially when i know you have feelings for me."

"weather you love me back or not does not matter. i just want to give you all the love you deserved." hyunjin pulled jeongin back into with the lingering thought that maybe he was better off with chan after all.

because in the end, it's jeongin who gets to choose.

and deep down they all knew he wanted chan.

for chan is a home to his broken childhood. once a home is a home, it will always be in your heart. you can't force another home upon a being. therefore, since chan is where jeongin feels at home, that is where he belongs.

now it was up to hyunjin to accept this. although he may not be ready to face the fact, he needs to. because in order for his sweet jeongin to get better,

he needs to be at the home he never had growing up. he needs to be with chan.

so hyunjin kissed him, knowing this part of the relationship wouldnt end for a while. the sex started platonic so it wouldn't hurt to keep going if it's what jeongin wants.

"you can use my body forever if you'd like. i'm just here to help with the hurt, and if it's your way of coping, i can do that for you." hyunjin whispered against jeongin lips as the younger boy shimmied down his underwear as did hyunjin.

it was casual at this point. "thank you, jinnie. i really do love you" even though it had a platonic meaning it still meant the world to hyunjin.

let's hope here on out for jeongin is smooth sailing full of the happiness and love he deserves.

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a/n
running out of ideas for this story so ofc i resorted to writing abt the side ships.
also, i'm sorry to the hyunin shippers here. i originally intended it to be hyunin but my fingers took over they typing🤑🤑🤑