Swamp Love ❤️// Edward X Barney

Chapter One

Edward Cullen smiled at the minuscule knife in his hands and felt jumpy. He was a very happy vampire today. Edward had drunk the blood of three humans last night, the most he ever got was two.

He got up from his seat and walked over to his luxurious floor-length mirror and smiled at his appearance. He was wearing his favorite brown Adidas tracksuit and his new Louis Vuitton bag. Now he could kill in style. After staring at himself for way too long he walked over to the window and reflected on his picturesque surroundings. He had always loved damp London with its stagnant, scary swamps. The swamps were Edwards' happy place. They were a fun place to play, and an easy place to dump bodies.

As he was staring out the window when he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Barnabus aka barney. Barnabus was a smelly, greasy anthropomorphic Tyrannosaurus rex. He was the only purple dinosaur in the town and often stayed inside to avoid being seen. Everyone hated Barnabus, but no one hated him more than Edward.

Edward gulped at the sight of Barnabus. He had always dreamt of killing the purple dinosaur and drinking his blood and now he was in Edward's backyard. He watched as Barnabus frolicked through his swamp, occasionally stopping to eat a frog. Their love for swamps was the one thing they had in common.

He stopped thinking about the vile creature in his backyard and glanced at his reflection one last time and headed out the door.

He watched Barnabus from beside his house waiting for the perfect time to make a move but before Edward could do anything Barnabus saw Edward peeking around the corner.

"Oh hi, Edward!" Barnabus yelled

Edward rolled his eyes as Barnabus started walking towards him. He would now have to talk to Barnabus instead of sneaking up behind him to kill him.

"Sorry for trespassing but your swamp is glorious!" Barnabus said approaching Edward

"What do you want stinky?" Edward said, annoyed with his presence.

"I am here because I want a kiss," Barnabus said while blushing.   "I'm in love with you, Edward Cullen."

Edward looked back, even more, sparkly and still fingering the minuscule knife. "Barnabus, exterminate!" he replied.

Suddenly, Barnabus lunged forward and tried to punch Edward in the face knowing that Edward was about to attack. Quickly, Edward grabbed the minuscule knife and brought it down on Barnabus's skull.

Barnabus's hairy toenails trembled and his greasy moles wobbled. He looked stressed, his body raw like a purple potato.

Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Barnabus was dead.

Edward went to his shed and found a bucket big enough to fit the fat purple dino. He used his crazy vampire strength to put his corpse in the large bucket so his blood could drain overnight. Edward went back inside excited to have Barnabus for breakfast the next morning.