Wrong Number Au (SpiderFrost)

I retract that statement.

''Hello, sir,'' I said while nervously waving. ''Who are you?'' I add seeing his glare and trying to seem like I don't know him. ''I was sent here by Fury saying to speak with you about the aspects and secrecy of your job.'' He told me still glaring. I think what he meant by that was my mission and how it's going. ''Mr. Parker you do realize that Wilson is a dangerous mercenary who has no remorse over who he kills, right?'' He asked me lifting an eyebrow and crossing his arms. Gods what is it with people and them judging me over who I date and sleep with. ''Yes.'' I sigh out tiredly. ''See even Agent Agent thinks dating Wade is a bad idea!'' Mr. Stark pointed out. ''I dated Wade. Plus I don't know what the big beal is.'' I corrected him mumbling that last bit to myself. 

''You know what! If all you're going to do is criticize my love life with Wade then you should see everyone else I've dated while you're at it!'' I yelled at them exasperatedly throwing my hands up and getting off the couch. ''And who would that be?'' Mr. Stark questioned me. Thinking about everyone I've dated I listed them out to the heroes in the room. ''Felicia Hardy, MJ, Harry Osborn, Gwen Stacy, and, as you know, Wade.'' ''You do know Felicia Hardy is a criminal, right?'' Mr. Stark asked me after I finished talking. ''Yes. Yes, I do, but unfortunately, I do not care.'' ''Listen if all you're going to do is criticize my love life then I'm leaving. I have more important things to do.'' ''Is it Wade?'' Mr. Stark asked me bluntly. ''What? No! We broke up Mr. Stark. Plus-'' Before I can finish my sentence my phone made a loud 'Ding!' noise. Going to get it, I failed to reach it in time because Mr. Rogers snatched it off of the coffee table. ''Who's Snek?'' He asked as he read the notification. Prying the phone out of his hand I tell him, ''None of your business.'' while reading what they sent.

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Snek: Hello child, what are you up to today? Also, it's they/them today. 

Small Harmless Child: Hey Snek, I'm not doing much right now. What about you?

Snek: If you're not doing much you can do me.

Small Harmless Child: Woah there Snek! Don't you think you should take me out to dinner first?

Snek: Why? I have not said anything implicating that I would like to court you?

Small Harmless Child: Yeah, but you said that you wanted to do me.

Snek: But my oaf of a brother told me that is what you should say when one says they are not doing anything. 

Small Harmless Child: Snek, saying that is essentially implicating that you want to have sexual intercourse with someone. 

Snek: Oh, well I retract that statement.

Small Harmless Child: Oh, you 'retract that statement', what are you, Shakespeare?

Snek: No, that buffoon has nothing on me.

Small Harmless Child: *Le gasp* DiD yOu JuSt InSuLt ShAkEsPeArE?!?

Snek: Yes. Yes, I did.

Small Harmless Child: Ugh, sorry Snek I gotta go. My boss is staring at me annoyed. Bye!

Snek: I also need to leave, I am currently going back to the establishment where I am temporarily living. Goodbye child. 

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''Who are you talking to?'' Mr. Stark asked me annoyed with his arms crossed. ''A...friend.'' I told him uncertainly because I don't know if Snek thinks of me as a friend. ''And who is this friend?'' Mr. Barnes asked me arms crossed with a raised brow. ''I don't know.'' I replied shrugging because I truly do not know. ''You don't know who you're texting? You do know that they could be a pedophile.'' ''Well they are not one, but if they end up becoming a murderous kidnapper well bye-bye me.'' I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. ''I'm sorry, you do realise that you are talking about your death so casually.'' Mr. Rogers asked pointing a finger at me. ''Yep. I've pretty much accepted my untimely or timed death by now.'' I explained pocketing my phone. 

'Ding!' was the noise the elevator made alerting us of someone's arrival. ''-Do not have an infatuation with them brother, stop suggesting that.'' I heard someone say coming out of the elevator. Turning around I see.....

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Hello, peasants. Sorry for that short and boring chapter but I'm currently working on 2-3 chapters of my other stories so I kinda rushed the end to hopefully get something out by the end of this week. 

With lots of love, Himinari.