𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

6. dear humanity

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dear humanity,

i repulsed you since the time you created dictionaries of words that always failed me and got me choking on a bundle of salty volcanic lava at the base of my throat, each time i was naive enough to try to talk to you.

i should have known that the liquor laden lullabies that you had sung to the child in me were the millionth carbon copies from your awfully synchronizing machine mind. well,
haunt the mind
kill the child.

i know that you think this is so ugly, because your eyelashes are so adept at batting beauty away.
oh dear humanity, i know. i know how you adore perfection and how you wish your world would be a pristine paradise.

you will never be able to embrace me, would you? because my dark hair wants to fly with the wind, they don't perfectly sit on my shoulders.  because when i laugh, my teeth don't perfectly align. because my back covered in the sheen of tropic sun isn't the perfect slate for you to write on. because when i dance i fling my arms in a way which does not match the oh so perfect movement you crave for. 

dear humanity, thank you for making me realize that it's not only lovers who hurt.
you teased and baited with me because i was not able to speak; but when i finally rolled the words off my tongue your hungry eyes were ready to jeer me as if i was yesterday's newspapers.
i was never a match for the jewelry crammed argosies that voyaged and raged across your silver seas; i guess you forgot to notice that my lighthouse was gradually igniting you.
you thought it was alright to steal me from myself and claim me as your own.
my opinions did not matter for one second, but had a zillion dollar value the next, for you were thrifty enough to claim them to be scattered at your shrine by then.
you were so very dainty while breaking each and every note of the symphony i call my heart, i was too mesmerized by your charm to notice your fingers burn when you set it on fire.

how dare you, humanity?

you threw lies at me like stones towards a glass house, but you forgot that your own opium heart was made of glass too.
you told me you were my friend when you came over and crooned over me and tried to care for me and comfort me.

but don't you understand?

if i let go of this side of me that raves, i'll lose the only part of me that is devoid of you. i can't stop feeling and letting the enormity of my emotions engulf me because these are what pushes the toxic breath out of my lungs and makes me breathe in the sweet sherbet air; but then, oh honey,
crying is cliche
in this humane world.

yours truly,
fallen angel

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