I Was First | Joshua Hong

Chapter 12

The next day, considering that I slept for half a day and more the last day, I woke up extra early, without an alarm clock, not feeling sleepy at all despite the time being so early. And it's a first. Usually, It would either be my alarm clock or my Mom who will wake me up, and just by hearing them, it unknowingly pushes me to sleep more.

Five a.m. I wonder if he's still sleeping, or if he's still awake. He really sounded like he couldn't sleep last night judging by the messages he sent.

If I knew he just wanted to watch that movie so he could keep his mind of things even for awhile, I should've tried my hardest to fight those things running inside my mind. I could've helped him even for a little.

But all those already happened, and I feel extremely guilty towards him. He wanted to help himself but ended up helping me instead.

I'll just might as well do something for him at the very least. He's my friend after all.

I cleared my throat and nibbled my lower lip. "...and my crush...", I said under my breath. I smile crept on my face, but I immediately regretted it. I could even feel goosebumps all over my body. I sounded so cringe-y. What the heck.

What am I even saying? Ain't I trying to get over?

"Hiah!", I heard Lily call from beside me. We were already inside the car, Dad driving us on the way to school.

"What?", I asked, but didn't bother looking at her. I very well know that she'll just probably ask or say something nonsensical, and I'm not up for things like that, most especially when it's coming from her.

"Are you really not gonna change the way you wear eyeliner?", I sighed. See? She'll just judge me again.

"What do you know about those? You're ten."

I saw from my peripheral vision how her chin lifted. "Well, for a fact, I know way more things about it than you."

I scoffed. "All along, I thought you were just watching cartoons, now you know stuffs about make up?"

"I'm an enthusiast."

"My foot.", I looked at her and moved my head closer to her. "Tell that again when you stop taking Mom's jewelries and make up sets.", I whispered so my Dad won't hear the things his daughter did to his wife. I immediately smiled in victory after seeing her look mortified.

She rolled her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sheesh. I was just asking. You're always wearing thick eyeliner even when we're home. Is that even normal?", I swear, her questions are more annoying than the ones in our tests. I mean, I'd be able to answer all that she's asking but I feel my blood boiling when I'm trying to.

"It's a trend.", I nonchalantly answered.

"Yeah, from about thirteen years ago.", She sarcastically said and even chuckled. I know, she's right and it's seriously not a trend, but my reasons are rational, and partially, I don't want to admit that I'm wrong or defeated when it comes to her. I have my pride.

"Why does school even feel so far today...", I said, tending my eyes out the window, and just ignored Lily, an in question human being beside me.

After minutes that felt like hours passed, Dad finally dropped us to school, but still, Lily's series of nonsensical talking continued of course.

We went to our separate ways, finally. And this happiness when she's away from me filled me up once again.

I got inside the building, and when I got a few stuffs from my locker, I made my way inside the classroom.