Dark souls

11|Holy children

Sunday was the only day the children at the orphanage wore fancy clothes. 

Any other day, we wore rags, because we were poor and filthy. 

They boys would be forced to wear white collared shirts and dress pants with uncomfortable shoes. Tom liked the outfit, it made him feel powerful and important. 

Miss Cole and Sister Opal would comb the boy's hair and wipe the stains off our faces. 

The girls would wear flowing dresses that fell to the ground, with long tight sleeves and white bows in their hair. They looked like ghost virgins. Daughters of God. Tom was sure everyone of them were innocent. 

Exept Missy. 

She always sat at the very first bench of the church, right under the alter. She was always the first in line to eat the sacramental bread from Priest Piotr's hand. She always took longer in the confession box than all the other children. 

Tom always thought he could guess what Missy and the Priest would do in there. The shutters shut and the door shut so that no one could hear their sins. 

Tom didn't believe in God.

 Everyone said that He loved us but if He did, He wouldn't make man suffer like this. If He did love us, if He was real, than He would answer our prayers. He would give us free will, He wouldn't give man rules. 

"Remember the holy day."

"Believe in God, and God only."

"Don't kill." 

Tom didn't like being told what to do. When he was younger, he was afraid of hell. But hell is just heaven for bad people. Heaven and hell isn't real. There's just life, and the darkness that comes after it. 

Tom decided at a young age that he didn't want to die. He would become the real God, the real Messiah. He would be worshipped and praised. People would bow down before him, and only speak his name in respect. Tom was the naive man's Lord and Savior.