Fear and Loving

Chapter 9 : Lucid Nightmares

I awoke to blinding daylight. And strangley enough I was standing on the sidewalk in front of my job. I usually went in through the garage entrance. Had I blacked out. I assessed myself, nothing hurt. But I was carrying a purse which I never did. I looked inside. There were the usual things and a single black folder. Inside that, was my resume. I stopped breathing. Looking down at my outfit and around my surroundings. This was the day of my interview. Oh gods no. Was I about to die? Was I already dead? Why was I reliving this. I had no control as my body went through the motions of my memory. I walked into the building signed in and greeted the receptionist and waited helplessly; a prisoner in my own mind. When I was called I was interviewed by the previous personal assistant. It went exactly as smoothly as I remembered. I was hired on the spot.

And then suddenly I was at my desk. It was my first day. Angela sat next to me giving me a crash course.

And then I was in the mirror nursing a busted lip. The receptionist walks in, eyes me with pity & tells me I need to quit.

The next time I come to, I'm face down in his office. Blood soaking into the rough carpet, eye swollen shut, ears ringing resignation still clutched in my hand.

I'm at the hospital, the police have been called. Even though I specifically asked the nurse not to. I have to lie. I don't want to.

I'm in bed. Sore all-over but free for the moment. I think he got a few extra blows in because today was the last day before my vacation.

I'm against the wall now raised high in the air by his hand on my throat. My legs flailing uselessly. Tears & lack of oxygen blur my vision & I look him in the eye for the first & last time. He is beautiful even in his rage and his hate glows through his red irises. He frowns & then I'm falling. No I'm flying, across the room & into the bookshelf. The impact would have knocked the wind out of me had I not hit with my shoulder. I can breathe again, but its so hard & it hurts so much. My head is spinning. I can't see anything besides the spots.

I come to again this time I'm back in the grand courtroom of the council. The beautiful being is cradling my head in their lap. They smile sadly at me.

"I'm sorry," says a soft breathy voice in my head. "It was the only way to prove your honesty to the council. I tried to shield you from the worst parts." And they were right. I didn't relive any of the actual beatings or any of the awful things he's said. I am greatful.

"Thank you ---" I say aloud realizing I don't know their name.

"Titania, the faerie queen." The breathy voice speaks in my head again. The queen of the fae, just saved me. I want to hug her but I think it would be inappropriate. She laughs quietly & it sounds like a sunrise in spring. She leans down kissing my forehead gently & then holding my hand. I've never felt more comforted. I could cry.
I look around from our spot on a decadent leather couch to find a red eyed Argos staring at me while speaking quietly to the council. I shuddered and avoided eye contact. From the brief glance I saw he didn't look angry... But this was only now. We still had the ride home. I tried not to think about it.