Fear and Loving

Chapter 6: Nothing

I didn't know any other human mates so I had no one to ask. I had questions that only someone who had done this before would be able to answer. Was I supposed to feel something for him? Would I have felt something if I didn't hate him before all of this? Were we mates from the beginning without realizing it or did it just happen on my birthday?
I took a moment to asses my feelings, nothing but hatred and fear with a dash of sexual attraction. That can't be normal. Could it? I would have to do some research. Maybe I could also find a way out... I focused my attention on Argos again. Or rather Argos' body? The different entities probably had different names. Oh well, not like it really mattered.  He was staring intently at my face. Oh. He wanted an answer. Instead I offered a question.

"Why would I want to spend time with you? Any time I've ever spent with you has ended in excruciating pain." I stared at him blankly wishing for this little "visit" to be over.

"How many times must I tell you; I won't harm you?!" I made sure to keep my face blank & my emotions in check. This was the comfortable numbness that got me through working for him everyday.

"Your word means nothing. You've done nothing but terrible things to me since the very first day we met. I did nothing to provoke you, yet you tortured me. The damage you've done to me is irreversible. I hate you with every fiber of my being and that will never change."

I wasn't looking at him, choosing instead to look out at the moon over the water. I marveled again at the the scenery my imagination had produced. I felt his stare burning holes into the side of my face but I didn't move. I was in business mode, I was numb; cold.

"We shall see." he whispered. It sounded like a threat even though I know he had not meant it as one. And then I was alone again. I laid back down in the soft warm sand. The only way to survive this is to be a cold emotionless bitch. I could do that...