Lovers Forever

First Fantasy

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The one day I can pinpoint is the day I became totally aware, consciously aware of my desire for her. It was the early hours of the morning, and though I'd been dozing for a couple of hours, I hadn't fallen into a deep sleep yet. Mostly awake, with my body feeling tight and warm, I let my fingers trail up my thighs. I was the comfortable, sleepy kind of aroused, and as I let a finger slide under the waistband of my underwear, the image that came into my mind was her blonde hair and those stunning blue eyes, and the small smooth hands I'd felt on my hand and arm and cheek so many times.

As one hand worked its way between my legs, the other slid underneath my blouse, the pad of my thumb finding my nipple and stroking it into hardness. Without any conscious thought, my mind was holding onto the image of Christine lying there beside me, her hands travelling across my body. Her ocean blue eyes wide with desire.

A soft moan escaped me as my hips rocked up towards my hand and the tip of my finger finally slid across my clit. In my imagination, Christine's body was against mine, her lips and tongue warm against my neck and my collarbone, and my slow, languid movements gave way. My hips gave a jerk as I pictured her hand taking the place of mine, and it seemed to take barely seconds until I was moaning into my pillow, riding the wave of one of the strongest orgasms I could remember.

In the days and weeks and months following, I would spend hours and hours thinking about that moment. But there was never any other conclusion I could come to than the obvious, the one that I knew was true. That I wanted her and no matter who I tried to fill that want with, it wasn't enough.

After that night, she became my most common visualisation. In my fantasies, I felt her hands and mouth on me. I uncovered her body, learning the parts of it that made her breath catch in her throat. In the real world, my heart started to beat harder when she hugged me, rested her chin on my shoulder, played with my fingers. My stomach gave a twitch the first time we went sun tanning together afterwards, although I'd seen her in a bikini so many times before that -- and had felt that familiar tug in my heart so many of those times. I hadn't fallen for her that night. I'd just realised something that had happened long ago.

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