🅂🅈🄽🄴🅂🅃🄷🄴🅂🄸🄰 𝘧.𝘸.

4. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

A sea of students sat in the middle of the Great Hall, Eris among these adolescents, drowning out the sound of the sorting ceremony. Her eyes lingered around the room, she noticed the Gryffindor table, from her third year she grew to be jealous of the Gryffindors. Everyone sorted into that house seemed to have a sense of camaraderie with each other, the upperclassmen always seemed to include the younger students. In Eris' head, she thought they were all a family-- the Ravenclaws were far from family. During classes, Eris wouldn't be able to count how many times she would be ridiculed for a grade she got, there was always tension in the air.

 As Eris looked around, she made eye contact with Cece, to say it was awkward would be an understatement. Their eyes interlocked for merely ten seconds, but Eris broke it by adjusting her posture and staring straight ahead, forgetting about Cece's existence. In the end, that's what she needed to do, Cece made her choice, now Eris has to move on.

The sorting came to an end, the last first year being a Hufflepuff. Professor Dumbledore promptly went up to the podium to give a brief speech welcoming the students. Eris drew her attention towards him and idly listened as he talked about the normal things, the Forbidden Forest was... forbidden, magic shouldn't be used between classes, blah blah blah. What caught her attention was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

 Dumbledore introduced her, and proceeded with his speech, but this new woman, Umbridge (what kind of name is that?), who was decked out in all pink fuzzy fabric, interrupted him. Eris saw a brief moment of shock pass through Dumbledore's face, but gave her the floor. 

"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome," this Umbridge woman started. Her voice did not surprise Eris whatsoever, it was squeaky, and in Eris' mind, she connoted the woman with a mouse.

"Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me." Her choices of words were patronizing and calculated, and this only angered Eris. As she looked around everyone else stared at the mouse-like woman with wide eyes and frowns, obviously uncomfortable.

 "I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!" This statement now made Eris want to burst out into laughter, in order for Eris to control herself she had to bring her hand up to her mouth and bite her thumb. It appeared that Eris wasn't the only one who felt like this, as she saw groups of friends whisper and giggle to each other. 

Umbridge cleared her throat (something she seemed to do quite often), and a hush fell over the room again as she continued her presentation.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction." Eris did not like where this was going, it made her start to feel more uncomfortable with this woman being her teacher. 

"The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching." And there it was, the value a certain type of purebloods had, the value that you need to have a kid with your cousin before a muggle to "keep the purity". 

Umbridge faced her new associates and gave a slight bow, as if to say she respected them. Eris knew that it was all bullshit. The woman faced her 'audience' again.

"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation..." Eris could not keep up with this woman and was slightly disgusted by her views. There were several more between blah blah blah and blah blah blahs, that Eris didn't catch, and the new Professor started to conclude with,

"... because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practice that ought to be prohibited."

"What. The. Actual. Fuck." Eris involuntarily announced as the woman stood where Dumbledore should have been, looking as if she was worthy of applause (and no one was applauding).

"I beg your pardon, Miss...?"

"Malacoda. But what was that? You're talking about how you want to 'move into a new era of openness' but also stick with tradition? That makes no sense. Pick one." Eris halted her words as if silently demanded an answer.

"I- um.... Miss Malacoda I believe that is a detention for speaking out of term and using profanity. Whenever I see you in class we will discuss the details."

Eris kept her cool and mumbled "like hell I will." Umbridge didn't seem to notice, as she took her seat at the teacher's table. Professor Dumbledore awkwardly came back to the podium and just said,

"Well enjoy the feast, kiddos!"

Looking at her professors, Eris noticed how they all looked amused, hell, Professor McGonagall looked completely entertained, the strict professor was red in the face, almost as if she was trying to hide the fact she was laughing. 

Eris loaded some mashed potatoes and tri-tip onto her plate aggressively. When she got off the train she expected to be eating in silence. And she was right. The people in her house looked outright freaked out that she had the audacity to call a professor out. One thing about Ravenclaws, Eris noticed, was that they were complete pushovers when it came to teachers. In their minds it was like a professor knew everything, and could never be wrong. It was quite odd.

Hiii plz vote, comment, share, and all that fun stuff, I'd really appreciate it :)