saudade • harry potter⁴ [UNEDITED/ON HOLD]

𝐱. mrs. weasley's boggart

×

      𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍. Nyx was waiting for Harry to respond but instead, he was in his own head. He had forgotten completely about Prefect being chosen in the fifth year. He had been too anxious about the possibility of being expelled to spare a thought for the fact that badges must be winging their way toward certain people. But if he had remembered... he had thought about it ... what would he have expected?

Not this, said a small and truthful voice instead of his head. 

Nyx analyzed Harry, his face screwed up and he buried it into his hands. She hadn't thought this decision would have affected him so much? Or maybe there was something more to it than that? Nyx couldn't be sure. But she had been there for Hermione, and Ron... now it was Harry's turn. 

She approached him carefully, crouched down in front of him and reached forwards to remove his hands from his face. Harry wouldn't look at her, his eyes remained shut.

Harry could not lie to himself; he had known the Prefect badge was on its way, he would have expected it to come to him, not Ron. Did this make him as arrogant as Draco Malfoy? Did he think himself superior to everyone else? Did he really believe he was better than Ron?

No, said the small voice defiantly. 

Was that true? Harry wondered, anxiously probing his own feelings. 

I'm better at Quidditch, said the voice. But I'm not better at anything else. 

That was definitely true, Harry thought; he was no better than Ron in lessons. But what about outside lessons? What about those adventures he, Ron, Hermione had had together since they had started at Hogwarts, and then soon joined by Nyx (often risking much worse than expulsion)?

Well, Ron, Hermione, and Nyx were with me most of the time, said the voice in Harry's head. 

Not all the time, though, Harry argued with himself. They didn't fight Quirrell with me. They didn't take on Riddle and the basilisk. They didn't get rid of all those dementors the night Sirius escaped. They weren't in the graveyard with me, the night Voldemort returned...

Harry jolted quickly when he felt himself being poked in his side. His eyes shot open and he came face to face with Nyx. Her expression softened, as she sighed. 

"It's only natural, to be jealous. I'm a bit jealous too, we've done a lot... we've seen things Ron and Hermione haven't, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve it too. I can't count how many times Hermione saved our behinds, and Ron—he's your best friend, Harry, and has been with you through everything."