It's not your fault

No reasons to live

⚠️‼️implied r@pe‼️⚠️

-Gon POV-

I should probably say goodbye at least. And apologize for wasting the years we've spent together. I pushed a cloth against my slit artery to prevent me bleeding out on call with Killua. I picked my phone up and clicked the accept button. "G-Gon?" I heard his voice, which was softer then normal. "Yes?" I said with a pained tone. "Are you ok? You haven't been answering your calls and kurapika said he saw something happening." He said almost crying. "I-I'm scared." He said with a cracked voice. "I'm sorry Killua, I wasted your time. And to think you loved me? That was just pathetic. I said with hint of self pity.

"What are you talking abo..." he trailed off with realization on what I was going to do. "Gon please no." He chokes "d-don't" he said defeated. "I love you Killua." I said and hung up. I removed the cloth from my arm and slit the other. I lie there defeated.

-Killua POV-

After the call I threw my shoes on whiling dialing Leorio. When he answered I was almost hysterical. "H-he needs help, please." I said drowning in tears. I started running towards Gon house . "H-he's going to kill him self." I whispered in Agony. Leorio had not said a word, he hung up and was by my side in under 4 minutes. Kurapika had came too. We slammed down the door to gons residence and searched. Kurapika let out a scream as he saw a flow of blood from under a bathroom door. I threw myself against the locked door flinging it open. I saw the most horrific scene ever. The stuff of my nightmares.

Gon, his wrists slit and eyes vacant. Those once, shimmering and happy eyes had no thought behind them. I screamed Leorios name and he came running. I wailed pathetically falling to the floor. Gons empty eyes looked at me painfully. Leorio and kurapika put pressure around his wrists. "K-Killua distract him from this but don't let him close his eyes." I shuddered and started catching gons attention. His eyes only faded as he slipped further away. suddenly I heard a small tune.

He softly hummed an uneven pattern of notes. After a minute I recognized the song. 'Good old fashioned lover boy' by queen. I added my own voice to the humming and gons eyes gained a little shine. But as expected, he passed out of blood loss. We had stopped the bleeding but hadn't fixed the wounds yet. I picked Gon about and gently carried him back to Leorios house. Leorio was working on stitching the wounds back together with as much precision as possible.

When he woke up he looked disappointed. He mumbled under his breath for a moment and blankly stared at the empty ceiling. I looked at him almost crying, I hated to see the once energetic, fun-loving gon become this. A shell of the person he once was. "W-where's my dad?" He questioned. I seethed rage because that was the first thing he asked after trying to commit. "Why the fuck would you want to know where he's at?!"
I shouted as he flinched. "I'm going home." He stated getting up to leave . I grabbed his shoulder making him yelp.

"You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere." I hissed not wanting him to be hurt once more. He threw my hand away with an injured hand and limped out the door. "Gon, we won't let you leave." Leorio spoke leaning on the door. "Of course you wouldn't understand, no one does." Gon said quietly. "No one ever does." He said this time, with venom taking his voice. "He loves me more then anyone." He said shakily smiling at the end.

"Gon no." Everyone said in unison with different tones. Gon sighed and bolted past everyone. He ignored our pleads and demands. I felt defeated. I crumbled to the floor sobbing. He was the first one to care about me for a while. He saved me from milluki. I cried harder thinking of the horrific scenes that have taken place. Leorio was the only one to keep his composure and not cry. He looked at me and kurapika and he looked down with a tear pricking his eyes. I slightly sighed and stated "I guess we did nothing to help." He turned to his room and harshly slammed the door.

-Gon POV-

I got home as fast as I could not wanting to get beat again. My dad was waiting for me. Multiple friends stood with him. They giggled maniacally as I was grabbed. My jacket ripped From my scarred and injured arms. The fabric harshly ripped from the dried blood and scabs earning a scream. They started pawing at my body as I trembled and there was a sting in my arm. A needle. As I slipped unconscious I could feel my clothes being torn.

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I regained consciousness. I wish I hadn't. It hurts. Every inch of my body aches. I wanted to scream. I knew exactly what happened. Sharp pains shot through my nerves as I  stepped towards my kitchen for water.  I grabbed a bottle of water and slumped on the floor. I could barely drink it with the tremble of my cold body. At this moment I felt an emptiness inside me. A lack of love. I might move back in with aunt mito. She'll let me. I picked up my phone and dialed mitos number. She picked up. All though it was an automated message. "The person that your trying to contact is not available at the moment, please record your message at the tone." I signed and finally checked all my missed messages. Some were from aunt mito. They read:
Aunt mito: this is the whale island funeral director, Mito died from unknown circumstances that looked like murder. In her will it asked for you to plan the funereal."

I dropped my phone and let out and agonizing scream. I sobbed on my floor trying to believe that it was all just a prank. I knew it wasn't though.

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A/n AAAAAA-
This chapter was long and took forever 😫
This hurt to write