It's not your fault

Hospital

⚠️‼️self harm‼️⚠️

-Gon POV- 

I opened the door unsurprised by the scene Infront of me.  Drunkards and stoners were filling my house. The air was thick and hard to breathe. I moved around the house until I was grabbed. Peopled tore and ripped my Clothes. I looked around for help but received none . I guess if they want they can do this to me. I'll do anything to please someone. Even if it means pain.

There was yelling from a corner of the house and people flooded there. I followed only to get a broken bottle launched at my side by my dad. He giggled as I screamed. I felt the glass piercing deep into my skin. Other party goers took that as an invitation to hurt me. I winced as stuff was thrown and people giggled At my cries. I guess it was another part of correction. Pleasing others. I stood there focusing on my breathing as to not pass out from blood loss.

The last thing I saw was flashing red and blue lights and blacked out. I woke up in urgent care with Killua next to me. He looked pissed, not at me but himself.  He mustered enough composure to say "why didn't you tell anyone what was happening there?" I played dumb "what do you mean? I said trying to convince him nothing happened. "I'm not stupid Gon, I heard what happened from the police." Dammit There's no convincing him nothing happened.

I tried sitting Up. I felt pain shoot through my body like a bullet. "Don't try getting up, you'll burst your stitches." A doctor stated firmly. Killua looked down at me softening his eyes and placing a small kiss on my cheek. "I'm sorry for being mean about it, I-I just can't grasp why anyone would hurt someone like you and you not say anything." He said with a sorrowful tone. "It's not hurting me, it's fixing me." I said knowing I was wrong. In truth, it did hurt but it made my dad happy and I loved him. I'd do anything to make people happy. I learned that in discipline. Keep my dad happy for less pain. Killua had just sighed at my words and stood up and left. I wanted to see my dad. Only he understood.

I ripped the needles and monitors off by body and opened the window. The heart monitor flat lined alerting some doctors. 3 rushed in including a familiar intern, Leorio. I slipped out the window and went as fast as my injured body could take me. I got home and noticed that my dad was there and hadn't gotten arrested. I ran inside and it was a mess. My dad was laying on the couch hungover as fuck.

"Clean" he said and dozed to sleep. I started cleaning the house. Occasionally cutting my legs and hands on the broken bottles riddled around my house. My dad vigilantly watched my moves and made snarky comments on my cleaning skills. Finally I finished up and went into the bathroom. I pulled my blade out. My cleaning was just another disappointment for my father. Why am I so bad at everything. Why can't I make anyone happy. I'm just a disappointment. I pressed the blade on my arms but it didn't feel enough. I held it to my neck and chuckled at the thought of ending it right here.

A/n this chapter took forever. I apologize and I'll try and put more chapters out today. Please vote love y'all <3