The Fire God

Chapter Twenty-Four

Black.

Interminably dark and cold and silent. All around me. Consuming fog. The release of the chill.
Garbled noises. The vise tightened a bit more, the ache in my head deepened. I wanted the shadows, the silence. Let me sleep.
An abyss. All of it, surrounded by pools of tar and ink, obsidian, trapped, sinking, bobbing.
Warmth. Away from me, but shooting up through me.
"Papa!"
The image was blurry, but the shout, "Papa!" came again when I turned toward it. Light. I squinted, the brightness pricking me. Black behind me, but light and warm.
"Mama," I said. Mama, I needed her. She had to come. I had to have her. "Mama!"
"Papa, look at me," warmth on my face, but blurred. I shook it away.
"Mama."
Another warm spot, I turned. Black hair, dark eyes. The teeth were wrong.
But it was.
"Mama!"
I reached out for her. She jerked, pulled away.
"I'm Diana, Babi. Diana, your daughter."
She spoke nonsense. "Mama," I said, took up her hands, pulled her to me. "Mama."
"Diana, Babi."
More garbled noise. The other one was urging me to look at her. "Papa, how are you?"
I turned back to Mama, drew her to me. "Mama." I pressed my head on her shoulder.
Warmth on me. My back. Over my body, on my shoulders and arms.
I lifted my head. Mama's teeth, I reached out to them. Pretty. She had pretty teeth when she was young. This is Mama when she was young.
"Mama," I said, touching her.
"Mri," but the rest was garbled. The noise hurt my head. Cheese was pushed on me and tea.
"Clarissa," I said, recognizing her yellow hair, her translucent skin, her crystal eyes. I put my hands on her face. Little bolts of static greeted me. Her words were garbled, but her arms were around me.
Clarissa's words came slowly, jolted. As an echo. "Mri. How. Are. You?"
"Clarissa."
"Can. You. Walk?" The same echoing, jolted noise.
She was trying to get me to stand. Mama was near and the other who called me Papa. Other globs were in the room. So bright.
Clarissa was drawing me out, to more brightness. Garbled, choked words.
"I want Mama," I said, turning my head over my shoulder to her.
"We can't leave her alone with him. He doesn't understand her yet."
More talking, more garbled. Cheese and tea again.
"Clarissa."
Garbled.
"Clarissa."
"Mri, can you speak? Say something besides my name?"
"Clarissa."
"Yes, she's Clarissa. I'm Aditi. This is Vadya. She calls herself Diana, your daughter. Papa, do you understand me?"
"Yes."
"You know Syllie?" she said, indicating one of the globs. "And Tiff? Mike, Dirk and Max? They're all worried about you. You know them?"
I shook my head.
"You know Clarissa?"
"Clarissa."
"You know me, I'm Aditi?"
"Aditi." I tested the word, but shook my head. I squinted at her, but she was a disembodied voice. There was a yelp.
"I'm your daughter, Papa."
"No daughter. Want Mama."
"She's Vadya, not your mama. Mama's dead."
I quickened, wanted to pull from her.
More garbled noise.
Clarissa was there again. She walked with me. Walking and garbled noise. Walking, dark coming, walking, noises, and walking some more.
"You're doing fine, Mri. You're getting better."
I put my hand over Clarissa's face. "Funny face. Pale."
"Yes, I'm pale. I'm called Caucasian. You're Persian."
I passed a day like that, not following, then following, words garbled, then clear. I did better when only one language was spoken. Trying to separate out the different tongues was too hard for my brain. Slowly, I could make out the globs of my friends.
Then I remembered that Mu was dead. My longtime, trusted friend Mu.
I sat alone, but I was never truly alone. Either Aditi or Clarissa was near. But they were no longer asking questions. I was sorting my mind. I was cold, but I still sensed the fire at my core.
"Papa, you're starting to stiffen. Come, walk with me."
"No," I said.
"I'll take him," Clarissa said, her hand latching onto mine.
She took me out to Syllie's garden and walked with me through the maze. "I was using the unicorn horn before."
I watched my feet, put one in front of the other.
"I saw that man approach you."
Heel, toe, heel, toe.
"Did you really put down all your weapons and let that man attack you?"
One foot in front of the other. Heel, toe.
"Mri, did you want that man to kill you?"
Walking through the maze.
"Mri, are you listening to me?"
"Yes."
"Answer me."
"Shut up, Clarissa."