The Fire God

Chapter Twenty-Five

Aditi was my unrelenting companion for several days. The sun was too bright and the bitch was forever pressing me to eat, drink, walk.
"Stop crowding me," I said, pushing her away. Dirk came to her, hushed her, comforted her.
He minced over to me. "Mricul, Diti's worried about you."
"Fuck off, Dirk. If I could get away with it, I'd behead you now." I lifted my hand to his forehead. How easy it would be to shoot a bolt of fire into his brain, kill him dead in an instant. "Mmmm, to castrate you with my bare hand," I said, moving my hand down to his scrotum.
He batted me away, jumped back a few paces.
Syllie came over, patted Dirk's shoulder. "Mricul—"
"Now the fat pig is going to address me. How quaint."
"This is a natural part of the resurrection cycle," Aditi said.
"It whines and whines."
I took off away from them.
*****
Clarissa handed me a key. "To my apartment, the insulae. So you can come and go as you please."
I flicked the key at her. "You're pathetic."
"Mri, you're going to get through this."
"Ha ha," I said. "So full of hope, such a fool. So full of light. The fool of light. You're the reason your mother was murdered. Murdered by her own kind. Because you're a strong little nephilim and your mother would never bind your powers, but your Aunt Ancient, she knew. The angels would kill you too if you weren't bound. Mommy chose your brother over you. Mommy loved him more than you."
"Mri, I love you."
"Desperate for love. In love with a dead thing. Falling in love with photographs. Old, black and white photos. Ugly little thing with fake tits and a squished face. Pathetic." I put my fingers into her hair. "It was a bore having sex with you. Forcing myself to fuck you. Just like every other guy you were with. You liked it when they hit you. Made you feel alive."
She smacked my hand, but her lip was hard and her eyes were steel. I laughed at her, amused myself with the old tone, the one that had been my friend in the nocturnal streets of Rome.
"Must be comforting," I said, "after both your parents were murdered by the good guys. To have a man who doesn't age, can't die."
But I had aged and my hair had shocks of gray.
"I know you love me too," she persisted.
"I haven't felt anything resembling love since Asperia stuck that dragon blade through my heart. She liberated me. What a pitiful weakling I was before that, groping at her feet, begging her to love me, to notice me, to pay attention to me. Oh please, Asperia, please let me wait on you hand and foot, let me do everything for you, please, please, please, Asperia. I was a much better companion for her after she sent that blade through my chest."
She picked up the key, pushed it into my hand. "I love you, Mri. I'm going to help you through this."
*****
It was two weeks before Syllie consented to let me leave the mansion and stay with Clarissa. Max objected.
"I don't want you alone with him. He's not right, Clare."
But she insisted on taking me to the diner. It was Milkshake Tuesday. "The sooner we return to normal life, the sooner he'll return to himself."
"I don't have another daughter to behead, Clarissa," I said. "No one else to shake me to the core of my being and nudge my dead conscience."
"Aditi—?"
"The mongrel orphan? No, those have all been pets. I could kick her in the haunch and be done with her. She means nothing to me."
"Except you refuse to leave her. You want to go back to Mongolia, but your eyes never blink when Dirk is around. You're overprotective."
"She's a stray taking up space. I would have gone out and adopted another, trained the next one to be a good little puppy. To piss in the right place. Watch that one walk on its hind legs to please me."
"Ignore him," she said to the others, dragged me out.
After dinner, we walked to the insulae. It was late and I liked to walk. A feral cat was picking at an overturned trashcan. I put my hand up, sent a blast of fire at it. The thing jumped out of the way, disappeared down the alley.
Clarissa slapped my arm.
"No one cares, Clarissa."
"I care."
She led me into the apartment, offered me a seat. She got me a cup of iced tea, though I found the stuff perverse. I lifted a pink doily she had decorating a shelf. The shelf was glutted with glass cat figurines.
"I want you to live here with me."
I tossed the doily aside. "You're mentally ill, Clarissa."
"Dyad sensi—"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh stop."
"Mri, what do you want? What can I do to make you happy?"
The kitten jumped to the back of the couch. Clarissa took it, moved it away from me.
The memory of the feral cat came to mind. "Good guess, Clarissa."
"I'd like to make love to you," she said, leaning her body against me, her hand rubbing my bicep.
I picked her up by the waist, toted her to the bedroom and threw her on the bed. I opened my pants and fucked her.
"You're hurting me, Mri." She put a hand on my chest, tried to push me off her.
I shoved her down. "Shut up."
I hadn't bothered with removing her clothes. I fucked her through her panties, ripped open the blouse. I was thrusting as hard as I could. It was what she asked for, so I made sure I gave it to her. Clarissa gasped, but she was still heaving breaths, still finding pleasure in my strokes. I injected her with the full force of my heat. She put a hand on her stomach, rubbed. For several days after, she complained of cramps.
A few weeks later, she came to me at Syllie's mansion. Clarissa told me her period was late.
"I care why?"
She tugged my arm. "Mri, if I'm pregnant—"
I walked away from her, across the foyer. "You're not pregnant."
A few days later, she sobbed, but I ignored her.
Then I had to deal with her brother.
"You sterilized her!"
"Excuse me?"
He screamed, "Your ejaculate was so hot, it destroyed her uterus. The doctor said her chances of ever getting pregnant are less than one percent."
"So?"
"I can't heal her!" he yelled. Spittle shot from his mouth. He had a hand on the counter to keep him steady. "You're not natural. How you burned her wasn't natural!"
"I don't care."
He landed his fist on the side of my face, then shook his hand.
"Not bad for a blind guy," I said, rubbing my jaw.
He strutted off.
*****
Syllie sat in his beanbag chair before the TV, a video game blaring on the screen. He was bobbing in his seat as he chanted, "Na-na-na-na-na, Batman... "
I smirked, started, "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Fatman."
"You're trying to pick a fight with everyone. Go find Asperia, vent that anger on her."
"What you're doing isn't very constructive either."
"Hey, I'm saving the planet, man," indicating the screen. "'Sides, helps me think."
I peeled out of the room. Vadya had taken up at Syllie's mansion, was a specter lingering in corners and doorways. The doppelganger didn't bother me, but her resemblance to Diana fascinated me. After fifteen hundred years, she was bound to have one, yet she matched her eyes, hair color, the gleam of her smile, the shape of her lips. Down to the last millimeter of her, she was identical. But she was a coward, jumped at the slightest noise.
It was easier to watch Vadya than to listen to the others. All they ever talked about was me.
Dirk said, "It's not like he was very nice before."
Aditi was crying, hugging herself. "I wish Mu was still here. She'd know how to fix him."
I made a point of going to her, whispering in her ear. "Mu is dead and rotting in hell, if there is such a place. You're welcome to try and fix me. I'll wait while you go get the toolbox. Pull out a hammer, bash in my brains. If you hit me long enough, maybe you'll kill me and we can start all over again."
"Papa!" Aditi squealed.
That caught Vadya's attention. "Babi?"
"You aren't my daughter," I spit at her.
She backed away, but I grabbed her, jerked her forward. An idea had seized me.
"Babi," she wailed, batted at me.
I forced her toward me, shook her till she looked at me. "Do you trust me?"
She started to squirm, pushed away. The others were calling at me to let her go. Their sterile world was shattered by my brutality. But not one actually intervened. She fought me, but I pulled out the unicorn horn, forced it into her skull, made her hold the horn.
"I'm not touching it," I said.
She was screaming. I was bruising her wrist, forcing her to stay there, jamming the horn into her head.
"They're your own images. I'm not putting them in your head. They're already there. Look at them," I screamed.
Her voice scratched the ceiling, pierced the stratosphere. She was kicking her legs against my thighs.
"No," I said, tossing her from me. "You aren't my daughter."
She collapsed to the ground, the unicorn horn in her hand. Drool was congealing at her lip, drops dripping to the floor. Her eyes were wrecked with tears.
Mike hauled off and hit me, knocked me to my knees. His world was not as sterile as the children who surrounded him.
My eyes focused. Veins of gray through the white marble. I bit my lip in the fall, tasted a metallic, salty flavor.
I touched the seam of blood, stood up. "I love it when the self-righteous crumble into hypocrisy."
So he hit me a second time, which just produced another laugh and dropped me to the floor again. I came to my feet, punch, block, punch, kick, kick, kick, block, down and he swept me off my feet, caught me in a choke hold at my neck.
"I'll snap your head off."
"Go for it," I said, howling laughter.
Tiffany was standing there, her arms folded. She was hiding in the shadows. "He wants to die, Mike. He's in pain and he doesn't know what to do about it."
I locked eyes with hers, threatened her with my gaze. Perhaps the world of a teen orphan was not so sterile either. It was a moment for Mike to consider, but he released me.
I came to my feet, glared at Tiffany. Stupid of me to trust her, to show her any piece of my soul.
"Don't listen to her, Mike," I said, brushing myself off. "This is the most fun I've had in weeks."
Syllie came into the ballroom where we were struggling. "Hey, Mricul, you want to play?"
My ears perked. "Play what?"
Syllie tilted his head. "I want to see how invulnerable you are. Mike would love to take out a piece of you. Want to go to the track, have a go?"
"All of you are terribly altruistic. As much fun as it would be to experiment on me, I've been through this. I've been poisoned with potions you've only dreamed of, had all manner of weapon hurled at me, suffocated, incinerated, burned at the stake. That one was fun!" I couldn't help the cackle that burst out of me. "I buried myself once, no food, water, air, freezing temps. I've no idea how long I was like that. Guess what!" Jazz hands! "I'm still here!"
"Didn't that hurt?" Tiffany said.
"Not most of it," I said.
"I don't believe you," Mike said.
I stopped opposite Mike, put my dragon blade in his hand. I pushed the tip to the seam where Asperia had stabbed me.
"Put the blade through my heart to put me down." I had my hand over his, tried to force the blade in, but he wouldn't. "It has to go all the way through. Through the sternum, through the heart. Touch the spine." Then with effort, I moved his hand to my throat. I stroked the dragon blade over the skin, a line of blood and the tearing of the muscle. Aditi screamed. "The blade has to completely remove my head to permanently kill me."
Mike jerked away from me, took my dragon blade.
"Mricul!"
"I told you," I said over my shoulder to Tiffany. "It doesn't hurt." I pressed my fingers into my blood, shook droplets to the ground. "Doesn't even sting."
Tiffany's lips twisted and her jaw was contracting. Smelled like bile. Made me giggle. I turned, skipped to the backyard, listened to the treads of the others as they followed. Dirk was keeping Aditi on her feet. He was whispering pleas to her.
"We don't need to watch this, Diti. We can go in the house. We can check on Vadya."
Aditi was sobbing, their steps still with the others.
I stood against one of the targets, turned to Mike, who was not as eager now that I was encouraging him and the others were watching. I took a dagger, jabbed it into my chest, the left lung, very near my heart.
I pulled it out, shook it about. "See, Mike. Nothing." Then I jammed it into my temple. "Still nothing." I rotated, sifted my brains, stopped when I felt faint. To prove a point, I cut off my hand just above the wrist, took some leverage to slice all the way through. Then I waved the hand at everyone. "I'm heartier than your average immortal."
Tiffany gave me the tin of ointment, her brow crooked like a broken sidewalk. Her scowl was cut deeper than the slash across my throat. "Put it back on."
"Needle and thread, dear." I pat her cheek with my dismembered hand. "It needs to be sewn."
Her lips twisted, but she was a good little bitch and fetched. I took my hand and dropped it on her head a few times when she returned. She ducked away, shook her head at me, shot venom at me from her eyes. After my hand was reattached and a little salve smoothed over the seam, a few moments were enough for my fingers to flex again. Then I waved at them properly. It would be a few days for the bones within to fully heal.
"None of you have anything like a sense of humor," I said.
Syllie brought out a cart of jars. Looked like a dessert cart from some overpriced restaurant. "Poisons," he said. "I got them. Ya know, after Clare."
"Dabbling?" I lifted one, popped the cork. Slightly sweet. "Antifreeze," I said as I downed it. "Causes nausea and vomiting, excessive thirst and urination." I listed the symptoms, since I had no reaction. I put it back, picked up a bottle of water, swallowed the whole contents.
I chose another bottle, a powder. "Arsenic." I sprinkled some on my tongue. "Causes diarrhea, vomiting, blood in urine, hair loss, muscle cramps, stomach pain, convulsions, causes major organs to shut down after prolonged exposure.
"Belladonna, or nightshade. During the Renaissance, ladies used it to dilate their pupils. The crazy things humans do for beauty," I said, putting a bit to my eyes. "A hallucinogen." The yard turned to a kaleidoscope of colors. Then I spotted hemlock. "Convulsions and death," I said, putting that in my mouth.
And I convulsed. Syllie and Dirk dashed to my side and the others gathered around me.
I grabbed the cart, shook it off, took another drink of water. "I'm fine." I chuckled at the nervous little rats.
I smelled the cyanide, but sat that aside. "We all saw how that affected Clarissa. No demonstration necessary."
Syllie drew me away. "I think that's enough."
"Sick already, Syllie?" I said. I took a knife, jabbed it into my sternum, cracked the bone. "Weak heart? Let's compare it to mine."
Aditi shot into Dirk's arms, her back to me, sobbing. I grabbed the edges of my ribcage, jerked it open. Blood was thick and goopey. Syllie's hand was over his mouth.
"This must be what story time with Fumi was like," Tiffany said, her eyes as dull as mine.
I laughed and my insides jiggled. The breeze nipped my organs. Clarissa appeared at the backdoor, found us on the track, started shrieking, sank to her knees.
Tiffany came to me with the salve. I stared at Tiffany's dark eyes, the way she leveled them at me.
"Wanna see a trick?" I said, my voice low, monotone. I rubbed salve on the muscle, massaged the organ. In another moment, a beat jolted everyone awake. Then another. The way the blood moved through me was no longer natural. I'd had too many poisons, was woozy, would have spasms soon if I didn't sit. I had to close up my chest. The vise in my brain relaxed.
"I need water," I said, clawing my way inside. Clarissa came, helped me walk. Tiffany brought a bottle, then another when I emptied it. Clarissa kissed my temple, got blood on her lips.
"I'm dizzy," I said. But my head felt better than it had in millenia. My body was contorting. That would be the strychnine. One of Agatha Christie's favorites. I heated the tin until the salve was an oil and drank a tablespoon, then another.
Clarissa was touching the seam at my neck. "Why did you do that to yourself, Mri?"
"I was bored," I said.
She kissed my cheek, smeared my blood all over me. Her hand was over my broken chest.
"Get away from me," I yelled at her and struggled to my feet, staggered across the room.
Clarissa came to me, pressed her hand to my heart, my beat reaching out to her touch.
"How long will it last?"
"An hour or two," I said. My brain constricted, then released. It was trying to heal. I was a lump holding myself up on the edge of the table. "I didn't use very much."
Clarissa's bosom was heaving. Such a trite reaction. What a lovely bosom. If I just ignored that it was plastic.
"I want to go home," I whispered to her and kissed her just below the lobe.
A tear laced down her cheek. "Mri, you're scaring me."
"You should be scared," I said. "You should get away from me."
But she let me go home with her. She let me take her to bed. With my heart beating, sex was harder for me, required more air to manage. Clarissa liked my ragged gasps. They matched her heaves. Sweat was thick on Clarissa's body. She kept touching the scar at my neck. I'd have one to match Asperia's now for the rest of my life. The zing of energy was muted but a different energy called to me. I was warm, couldn't stop the heat in me, but I kept the flames inside.
"Dyad sensi meram, Mri," she said.
"You're a fool," I said. The fool of light.
"I love you, Mri. Nothing you say or do will change that."
"Ignorant little girl."
But she cuddled up on my chest and I fell asleep. As expected, when my heart stopped pumping my blood, the stiffness in my body started to prick and ache. Sleeplessness returned to me. The vise snapped shut on my brain. I tossed Clarissa off of me, got up. Her tears reach my ears from the street.
I walked all night, clawed my fingers into my skull, tore off chunks of skin, blood thick in my nails. Finally found my way back to Syllie's mansion. My unicorn horn had been abandoned on the floor. Vadya was nowhere to be found. I assumed her habits were similar to mine, that she couldn't be still, that she had to walk, stretch, dance, perform martial arts forms to maintain function.