Sorry for missing a week!! Here's an extra long chapter, 4K+ words- almost 5K!
I had just entered the school when I heard my name. "You never answered me last night. What am I supposed to wear?" I stopped and waited for her to catch up. "Casual works, it's just dinner."
Her blue eyes widened, "your parents are going to be there! I have to make sure I make a good impression. What do they like to talk about?" I sighed, "they might mention soccer just because they're hopeful I'll play again. D-don't mention to them about me practicing with the team."
She nodded, flicking her brown hair over her shoulder, "not a problem. You look tense, are you okay?" Was I okay? No, I haven't been okay since March. That panic attack wore me out from yesterday, my chest was still sore. I had the same dream of being alone in the bus and everyone else dead.
My mind was a war zone between telling my parents about soccer practice, emailing the therapist back, and trying not to panic because a girl I really like is coming over to my house tonight. "Jacob," she said softly, her hand gently touching my arm, pulling me from my thoughts.
My breathing had quickened and my heart sped up; I almost had a panic attack. "Sorry, I- sorry," my voice lowered, utter exhaustion dripping from my tone. I can't remember the last time I slept. Kelsey's delicate hand laced in mine, tugging me around to face her.
"What's wrong?" I kept my eyes on hers, "I just didn't sleep much, I'm fine." Her blue eyes narrowed, "People tell a million lies in their lifetime. You know what the most popular one is? I'm fine."
In a way, she reminded me of Fisher. We had been best friends for so long I couldn't lie to him, he would always know. He read me like an open book and apparently passed it on to Kelsey. A weak smile morphed my lips, "Kels-" "Jacob, do you remember when I took you to my mom's grave?"
I nodded, looking at her like she was my life support. Maybe she was. Her blue gaze skimmed my face before meeting my eyes, "everyone has problems, baggage, issues. I brought you there to show you some of mine. Laying your problems on other people doesn't make you rude or a burden. It makes you authentic, it makes you human. I have complained to you countless times about student council, rambled to you about whatever is on my mind. You've listened to it all, now, let me listen."
She took both of my hands, giving them a slight squeeze of encouragement, before she led me down the hallway and out the door onto the football field. We sat at the very top of the bleachers in a comfortable silence. She wasn't urging me to talk or confide in her, she was just waiting. Waiting for me to talk and I think I was finally ready to.
Sighing, I turned my gaze to the field, not looking at her made it easier to pour out the thoughts that I was drowning in, "um, I, uh, I reached out to a therapist. Um, Dr. John Sanders?" She nodded, her attention captured by me.
"I've been having nightmares about the accident nearly every night. My best friend, F-Fisher, shows up every once in a while. Randomly, but usually when I'm jogging. The tiniest thoughts or-or things I see trigger a panic attack."
She bit her lip, taking in what I had said, "so, in the parking lot- where I gave you an inhaler- a bus drove by. Is that why you had a panic attack?" Deciding not to answer, I looked back at her. Kelsey's eyes alone made my stomach drop.
She was dejected all because of me. I was the reason her smile had dropped from her faint pink lips. I stood up, but the hand on my arm stopped me. A memory instantly overtook me. I was taken back to not my proudest moment after a soccer game. The other team played rough and tried hurting us.
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God's Field |COMPLETED|
Teen FictionUNDER EDITING Michigan's soccer team had once again made it to the play-offs as the returning champions. Everyone excepted them to take home the gold, but as fate would have it, they would never make it to their destination. An eighteen-wheeler c...
