Hysteria

chapter 11

Mattheo's POV:

I woke up in my dark forsaken room as the clock next to my bed rang loudly.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes before reaching over and throwing the clock onto the floor, causing it to stop. I took a deep breath as I got up and walked to the bathroom.Then I turned on the shower, took off my boxers and hopped in. The cold water soon turned into warm water causing the goosebumps on my body to go away. I continue to wash myself without a care in the world. I only have a couple times a day where I feel at peace. And by "A couple of times" I mean like one and by "Peace" I mean no thoughts in my mind. Empty. After I got out of the shower I got dressed in the standard uniform. I never will understand why our uniforms have so many fucking layers. Then after that I used a spell to dry my hair then sprayed on some of my favorite cologne, grabbed my wand and walked out of the door.

I walked into Great Hall earning stares from drooling girls as I walked by, not even giving them an ounce of attention. I sat down on the edge of the Slytherin table, next to the rest of  "my'' group. I looked across the table at Scott as he ate his oatmeal, not saying a word. This ignorant creature that sits before me makes no move to look up at me. When I know he feels me staring at him. I would simply just kill him right now but I cannot, I'm not worried though, he will have his time. Right now I am focused on Draco, that platinum blonde ferret has the audacity to call Y/n a slut. Funny coming from a boy who most likely has twenty STD's. These revolting pest's fuck anything that could walk. I on the other hand, very carefully select who I have sex with, I would be damned if I didn't. So proudly I can admit that I haven't had sex with anyone for awhile, yes I've let girls suck me off recently but I still select them carefully, but other than that- that's the only thing. I know how to control myself unlike these pest's who simply cannot. But when I do have sex I always have girls comming back, but unfortunately I don't fuck twice. Once I've already had sex with you, there is no next time, even if they begged me I would not. All they have are memories from when I did fuck them, now they could do whatever they want with those memories, cry, dwell, masturbate, it doesn't matter to me. Now I would be fucked up if I said I enjoyed seeing them hurt because I rejected them..I guess I'm fucked up then. The looks that creeps up onto their faces brings me life, almost like a fresh breath of air. Their little pathetic feelings, ripped to shreds gives me satisfaction. I was brought out of my thoughts when I saw Y/n walk into the Great Hall. I looked down at her shoes and let my eyes wander upwards. Her knee high socks fit tightly around her legs, her skirt moves with every step she takes, her sweater vest is neatly tucked into her skirt, her neck is so vulnerable to the eyes as it is to the touch, her long loose curls sit nicely on her mid back. As my eyes move up to her face I see that she is looking at me.

Her face is nearly blank as I come to remember what had happened yesterday.

Remembering that I lost control over her stare and touch. How could I betray myself? How could I have no sense of control once she stood in front of me? How? I remember watching her as she studied me like a book. I remembered how I pulled her on top of me, the feeling of her petite body on mine, how she looked me in my eyes like any wrong I've ever done didn't mean anything. Like they all disappeared. I myself disappeared in that moment as well, all the feelings of hatred were almost gone in that moment, but there was a side of me that argued with that feeling. As I kept thinking about yesterday I became more and more frustrated. I watched as she looked away from me then sat down with her little friends, the invisible weight that sat on my chest lifted. As I started eating I felt my left arm starting to sting. He is calling for us. I looked over the table to look at Draco, who was already staring at me. All of us got up and walked out of the Great Hall, earning stares from the rest of the students.

Once we got to the manor we headed straight for the meeting room, opening the doors we saw the rest of the death eaters and my father sitting at the head of the table.