Hysteria

Chapter 17

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️:
                            Suicide attempt

Draco's POV:

I looked at myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth tiredly. Waking up to the same bullshit is a bore. Never nothing new, always the same. I throw on my uniform and grab my wand and walked out of my dorm. The sounds of people chattering and laughing goes muffled, that's a normal thing now. I tune out everything and everyone unless they're speaking to me directly and even then I still barely pay attention. I don't even have the energy to talk shit to Potter and his worshippers.

All the periods go by terribly slowly.

I could barely stay awake.

Huh wonder what my catty father would think of me if he saw what I've become.

Now that classes were over, I went to the Black Lake to read a book.

The sounds of the small waves hitting the shore and the sound of the wind whistling is the only thing that brings me at ease now.

About thirty minutes into reading I hear people behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw three 5th year girls walking in my direction before they saw me glaring at them, causing all of them to stop.

"Oh, um sorry," One of the girls said.

"It's fine," I said quietly before watching them walk away as they laugh.

Must be nice to laugh so freely and full-heartedly.

I looked forward and saw a white Sweet Pea flower. I picked it from the ground and examined it, noticing all the little defined features on it.

I brought the delicate flower to my nose and sniffed it, letting it's sweet scent invade my air ways. This flower is beautiful and I'd like to keep it, but it will die soon. Though everything does. Everything comes to an end. But still I will keep it.

I set the flower onto the page I was reading then shut the book, lightly crushing it. I grabbed my robe and wand then stood up and walked back to the castle.

As I entered the castle, someone immediately bumped into me. I looked at who it was and it was a boy from Hufflepuff, he looked to be in the same year as me. I glared at him, causing him to look down and walk away.

I'm not just noticing but I don't talk much anymore. I might as well be a mute. All I do is think. I'm always in my head. Frankly I don't think I could be understood anymore. I actually don't think I was ever understood by anyone. Not by my Father or Mother, yeah sure she tries to help me in her own ways but it never helps and I'm still in this mess and I've become a mess myself. I've become a soulless, dull person. But I guess that was my fate.

There is no more shimmer in my eyes and no more smart or sarcastic remarks coming from my mouth. A single word has barely left my mouth since the beginning of the school year. Like someone cut my vocal cords. The laughs that used to come out of my mouth, the laughs that made my stomach hurt haven't been heard in a long time. My throat is a vocal graveyard, it's dry and unused.

My skin has turned pale and unhealthy looking, causing my face to look oddly defined and causing my dark eyebags to show. And my lips match my pale skin. I'm like a walking corpse, tall, skinny, frail and pale.

My diet has become unhealthy as well. I went from eating all of my food to only eating a couple of bites. And my "diet" has mainly been green apples.

But all these things I'm going through, nobody notices. Nobody has noticed my suffering. Do I perhaps deserve this suffering? Is this some type of punishment? Is it for treating people poorly? That can't be it.