★ | I, Rhys Kakyoin | Jotakak

3 ☆ Silence

I bring him quickly to the library where it's all quiet, the usual smell of old wood and book pages hanging still in the air. In a dark corner where no light can reach far enough to touch Jotaro and disturb him any further, there is fortunately a stool on which I sit him down the most gently I can, and get down on my knees beside him. I realise that noise doesn't just irritate him. It affects him terribly if it gets too much, and that's just so upsetting to think of, especially when I recall what Aito did to him.

  "Jotaro, it's okay now," I quietly say as I stroke his shoulder repeatedly with my hand, and this time he doesn't push it away. "Nobody's going to hurt you anymore."

  He gradually looks up at me and I see nothing but hurt and horror in his dark pale blue eyes, bloodshot and sore because of the tears that had brimmed up and flowed down like a persistent stream. He sniffs and breathes out in gasps, and I just genuinely feel so sorry for him. I don't even notice the hot tears that fill up in my own eyes as I reach out my other hand to caress his other shoulder.

  Unexpectedly, I'm pulled into an embrace. One that's comforting and soothing for me as well. I just hug back, feeling his warmth spread through me. It feels as if I want this to last forever. I haven't had a hug I considered so tender and heartening in a long time.

  Once I withdraw from him, I notice that my cheeks are wet and I feel shaky. I choose to ignore them for the moment and look at him, see how he's feeling.

  Instead of a look of fear and pain on his face, there is curiosity; wonder, as his eyes momentarily fix on mine before looking down. "Are you sad, Noriaki? You're crying."

  "I'm not," I smile.

  "But there's tears in your eyes."

  "It doesn't mean I'm sad, Jotaro."

  "But you're..."

  "Jotaro..." I sigh. "I told you."

  He nods finally, and I just reach for an embrace again. I feel like his hug is stronger than anything I've ever known, as if holding me isn't quite enough, he has to feel every ounce that I am; make me press into every ounce that is him. In that moment of feeling him so close I'm... awake somehow, more alive than I have been in so very long. Because there are times I feel much like a butterfly who yearns for the cocoon, to be safe within walls, protected. That's what I feel. It helps. So if it would be okay, if it's what he wants too, I want him to wrap those arms around me every chance the universe is kind enough to bring.

  I don't know how I can feel like this when I've only known Jotaro for a few days, but I can. That's mostly what matters. And I want to help him in every possible way I can when he's hurting... in exchange for those warm embraces, maybe, because that's one of the only chances I can get where I can feel safe even if away from my family.

  "Thank you, Jotaro," I breathe as I quickly embrace him again when he signals it with his arms.

  "For what?" he mutters.

  "Hugging me. I've never really hugged that much before."

  Jotaro tries to say something, but he hesitates for a moment before finally letting the words leave his lips. "Me too."

  "Are you okay?"

  "...I'm okay."

  "Good." I beam as I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand. He does the same before standing up from the stool, reaching a hand to help me up from the ground. I willingly take it and he pulls me up. He then walks past me to a certain bookshelf, near to the table where I first met him here, and searches for a book. I find it kind of strange that it was done so suddenly.