★ | I, Rhys Kakyoin | Jotakak

45 ★ Let it be

In the early afternoon up until half past five briefly after my sword fighting session, we resort to watching stuff on the television in the living room while snacking on gummy bears and cherries in a ceramic bowl. Jo suggests we watch Breaking Bad because of his interest in it, and because of how openly well-received the series is, I agree. We then continuously watch the first few episodes; he'd be so invested that he doesn't notice me looking at all, and I'd be left to wonder how in the world he was allowed by his parents to watch this a short while after it first came out on Netflix in 2013, though it's not out of the question to assume that he didn't even ask for permission before doing so.

Admittedly, I practically shouted, "What the fuck?" more than once seeing just what they were willing to show on that series in the first few episodes.

When the clock strikes six, marking the beginning of the early evening, Jo and I leave the house to go to Shinrinyoku High where we'd meet up with our friends, Jo making sure to wear his cap, headphones and his jacket beforehand. We pass by rows of villas together, the two of us intent on keeping up with each other's paces. Not much is spoken for the rather short trip there, the calmed breeze sweeping by ever more perceptible, and as we stop near the sidewalk kerb, allowing a bicycle to pass, I hook an arm around his neck and he puts his own around my waist, pulling me in a bit closer, before we resume walking.

"Rhys. I remember a while ago y' said y' were a decent singer," he says.

I laugh. "God, you still remember that thing?"

"Yes. Can you sing for me?"

"Jeez. Okay," I say shyly, though quite pleased that he's both remembered what I'd told him back then, and asked me to sing for him. "Anything?"

"Anythin'."

I inhale deeply and breathe out slowly, pulling away from him. He lets go accordingly, and my cheeks colour warmly in flustered shyness. "I see trees of green, red roses too; I see them bloom, for me and you." I'm a bit surprised by how accurately I hit the notes, and with how high a pitch I croon. "And I think to myself, what a wonderful world." I just go on as we continue along the pavement, too immersed in my own voice and the words that I sing, and for a moment I'm oblivious to the adoring gaze that Jo has fondly casted upon me.

Jo clasps me by the shoulder tightly, forcing a chuckle to block the negative emotion. "Stop. Stop. You'll... you'll make me sad. H-how?"

I flush more vividly. "What do you mean "how"?"

"Your voice is beautiful," he breathes.

"That's... a gross exaggeration," I object. "And isn't it supposed to be a happy song?"

Jo shrugs, crossing his arms and hanging his head low. "It jus' feels like the song y' would sing to someone y' love when the world's about to end. The way y' sing it. As a farewell, and jus'... watching it before it all disappears."

My eyes widen. "Wow. Okay. That's... sad."

"But you still 'ave a great voice, Rhys. I am... in love wi' your voice."

"Stop being so cheesy," I giggle, nudging him jokingly in the ribs. He utters a sharp yelp of pain mixed with a laugh and he pushes me away. Still smiling so sweetly to himself, he tips his cap a little lower and thrusts his hands into his jacket pockets. In spite of that, however, I loop my arm around his, wanting not to stay so far from him.

I really feel tempted to confront Jo about the book, because I have a hunch that something's off. Best case scenario is that he'd mixed up the details because of forgetfulness, and worst case scenario is that he's lying about the entire incident completely. I'm not frustrated nor furious with him, only concerned for him. I only want to know what's going on. I want him to let me out of the dark on what's happening in his life, because I know that's exactly what he should be doing as my romantic partner.