BoJack Horseman x reader

let's imagine

Now let's imagine BoJack, our beloved Horseman (literally), as a rugged older man who is also an alcoholic and trying to prove to people that he is still relevant. He's also trying to prove to his friends that he can still be a good person. He's trying to prove to you that he can care for other people, can care for you. 

You press the doorbell and look up, his house is huge. You wonder why he has a house that big when he only lives by himself. You hear something from behind the door but can't tell if it was an object falling or a person talking. You look down and notice your shoe is untied. Come on, are you really going to show up to a celebrity's house looking disheveled?  You didn't realize that BoJack would be even more disheveled. As you're tying your shoe, BoJack opens the door and you look up at him. He's sniffing and scratching the back of his head, looking behind you in a paranoid frenzy. "Woah, I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment. Not really a marriage type" he jokes from above. Right, you're on one knee and tying your shoe. Haha. Very funny Mr. BoJack. "Oh, haha. Yeah, I was just tying my shoe" you reply, standing up and brushing the dirt and gravel from your knees.  "Can I come in?" you ask, looking behind him." He follows your gaze and huffs. "Uh, yeah. It's a bit dirty because Todd hasn't cleaned up his shit." You follow him into the living room and are amazed at how huge it is. The amount of furniture does not fit the space he has. There's an amazing view of Hollywood from his fucking floor to ceiling window. Man, this guy is crazy rich. "Hey, so listen. I want to make this super quick," you begin and BoJack is clearly not listening to you. You ignore him and swipe the piles of beer cans off the couch to sit next to him. You can't tell if it smells like beer because of the cans or because of him. "BoJack, I really like you." He swivels his head to you and starts clutching at his throat. Are you fucking kidding me? He's going to have an anxiety attack because I confessed my feelings? Old man can't handle being liked by some girl. You put a hand on his thigh, trying to comfort him. He's breathing rapidly and pointing a finger at you. "You're trying to get me fucking killed?!" he exclaims. He's such a fucking drama queen. Can't believe I like this guy. "Bo J, it's fine. Sit back down" you motion for him to sit next to you again and he does so. He starts fanning himself with his sweater and takes off his jacket. "Stop being so dramatic. I just like being around you, what's so bad about that?" in that moment Todd steps in, sees what's going on, and steps right back out. "I can't do this. It's not who I am" BoJack replies. He gets up and paces around the living room table, going in circles around it. "I need to have a drink" he mutters. You get up and rush to stop him. He needs to face his problems head on. He can't be drinking to make it less painful. "Hey, weren't you bragging earlier about how you've decided to go on the path of becoming a better person?" you ask. His face drops and he looks to the floor. He starts to reach for his neck again and you take his arms. He looks at you and it feels like an overflowing sense of warmness takes over you. He is everything you have wanted. You swear that with some good help, he can truly turn his life around. 

"You don't need a drink to deal with this. It's pretty simple" you begin, "let's go back to the couch, or if you want we can go to your room or outside for some privacy." He looks to the pool and you grab his arm, leading him to the patio. You basically have to drag him there because he is reluctant to go. You notice he's gotten a bit heavier and you appreciate it because you like how he looks but are worried for his health. He's an older man and he drinks, smokes, and eats like shit all the time. You realize it's not your problem but still make a mental note to talk to him about it when he's in a relaxed state. He brings his arm out to block the sun and blows air through his nose, signaling that he doesn't like it. You pull him towards you and he stubbornly stays in his spot, looking behind him. "Come on, it's a nice day out" you persuade him. He trots along and sits on one of the lounge chairs, taking out his cigarettes and lighting one. He offers you one and you think about it for a second but ultimately reject it. You're not taking me down with you. "Let's talk about this. Okay? Do you like me? It's a simple yes or no." He blows smoke and it hits you, feeling a sense of calm flow over you because it reminds you of BoJack. Yeah, he's right next to you but the hearty smell of cigarette smoke is loved because of BJ. "Look, this is really complicated," he starts. It's really not. "It's really not. BoJack, how do you feel right now?" you ask the man, his leg starts shaking and you put your hand on it showing that you're here for him and he doesn't need to be nervous. He blows smoke again and you cough, he immediately puts a worried arm around you and puts his cigarette out. "I feel like shit." Oh, is it cus I'm here? Why did I think I could change him? He's an old ass man and he should learn from his mistakes on his own. He doesn't need someone to take care of him. "Look, I'm sorry" you try to say and he interrupts you with his own apology. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't want to say it but ..." he looks out into the city, the scorching hot air rising above the buildings. This weather fucking sucks. "I also have some, ahem, some feelings" he rolls his eyes and continues "for you." Your heart basically stops. It's an overpowering feeling to hear that this man, the one who cares for no one and whom no one cares for, has some sort of "feelings" for you. You smile brightly at the man in front of you, he huffs and reaches for his cigarettes. You take his reaching hand and hold it, looking up to him for some sort of validation. He looks down at you but doesn't change his expression; however, his grip on your hand tightens and you know that's his way of saying that he appreciates the gesture. You hope that he'll say something else maybe confess his love for you, but he doesn't. He instead watches the pool, as if waiting for the answer that will fix his life to float to the surface and he'll finally find peace. "Thank you" you finally reply. He looks at you and the two of you share a beat. It's nice to be here, with the man who you sacrificed everything for, sharing a special moment. Everybody said that he would not stick with me, that he is just some dumb Hollywood celebrity way past his prime who still thinks he's got it all. I know they're wrong, BoJack is different and he just needs someone to show him that he isn't the person everyone paints him out to be. 

He looks to you and your heart skips a beat. You'll never get tired of watching his dark and heavy eye bags crinkle with his smile. The fine lines showing his age and the slight stubble kissing his lower face. "I am.." he begins, you squeeze his hand and he does it back, "a difficult person." You nod to show him you understand and let him continue. "I really do want to become a better person but I don't think it's going to be so easy. I won't have a magic fairy godmother or some bullshit to turn me into one. What I'm trying to say is that..." he pauses for a bit and breaks the eye contact. His leg starts shaking again and you let him go at it, you can't comfort him all the time. "I don't want to put you in any harm, not because I will cause you harm on purpose but because I fear that in my process of becoming the 'best version of myself'," he says in air quotes, with an annoyed expression but then turns back to me. "I will accidentally hurt the people I care for, you being one of them." Did BoJack Horseman just say that he cares about me? That I'm a person he cares for?  You think that BoJack doesn't mean that, or that he will mess it up or , even worse, that you will mess it up. "BoJack... it's okay. I know that you are trying to get better, and the keyword there is trying. You will make mistakes, I will make mistakes and that is completely fine. The only people who don't make mistakes aren't real. I'll give you the space that you need when you want it and I will be there for you when you need it. I am sure about this. I am sure about us." You had been kind of brewing that up in your head for a while because you're nervous to start a relationship with him. He sort of landed on your lap one day and you promised yourself to never let go. 'He's a good one, I want him' you thought to yourself. You hear him sigh heavily and let go of your hand. You think he's going to leave when he wraps his arms around you, letting himself melt into you. You do the same and, for a second, you believe in peace.