After the End

Chapter Twenty-Five

Dean finally made it home, just as the sun was beginning to set. People were out walking, on their way to dinner. None of them paid Dean any attention, or stopped to talk to him. Meanwhile, Dean's mind was racing. These people had no idea. They didn't know that innocent lives were sacrificed so that they could live in peace. They were living in blissful ignorance, and Dean almost wished he could be like them. He wished he never found out what his dad was doing, because now he had to decide whether his own father should live or die. Killing monsters was easy, killing people was hard, but killing family was something Dean had never thought about, nor wanted to think about. After his mom's death and living ten years thinking John was dead, this situation was not something Dean saw coming. He was devastated it had come to this.

Dean couldn't think straight as he walked down the sidewalk towards his house. His thoughts were all over the place. He was worried about Cas and the girls because he left them alone. They were probably worried about him too. Dean wondered if they made it home, or if they were still out there waiting for him to come back. His mind didn't linger on it for too long, because it hurt his brain to think about it too much. Instead, he thought about how he was going to tell Sam and Bobby about John. Then when that became too much, he thought about how he was going to hide from John that he knew the truth. Dean had three weeks to figure out what to do before another innocent soul was sacrificed. Three weeks to tell Sam and Bobby. Three weeks to make sure no one else got hurt.

Without looking up, Dean continued walking, pressing hard against his temple in hopes of alleviating some of the tension in his head. He didn't even register that someone was yelling his name until there were two hands gripping his arms tight, shaking him back to reality. Dean lifted his head, meeting Cas' eyes. "Hey," Dean croaked, his hands shaking as he reached for Cas, any part of him he could hold. Cas looked angry, more than angry, really. But he still let Dean in, holding him close as Dean desperately held onto him, burying his face in Cas' neck, despite the fact that people could see them. Dean wasn't thinking about anything but holding Cas, letting the angel comfort him.

"Let's go inside," Cas whispered against Dean's ear, only pulling away enough to drag Dean into the house. Dean appreciated that Cas didn't let go. Dean stumbled along beside him until they were in the house, the door shut and locked behind them. It was quiet, so Dean figured Sam and Jack must not be home yet. "We've been looking everywhere for you," Cas said, sitting Dean down on the couch.

"Yeah," Dean mumbled, his chest starting to feel tight again as Cas stepped away from him, no longer touching Dean at all. Dean rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his head into his hands. Cas stood in front of him, a few feet away, watching Dean with an unreadable expression on his face. "I'm sorry." That was all Dean could think of to say. He knew it wasn't enough, but there was too much going on in his head to think of something better.

Cas was quiet for too long, so Dean glanced up at him with concern. Dean still couldn't figure out what Cas was thinking. He ran a hand over his jaw, looking past Dean. "You're sorry?"

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, I'm sorry," Dean repeated. "What else do you want me to say?"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Cas snapped, making Dean jump. He'd never heard Cas talk that way before. He'd been angry, even with Dean, but he didn't casually drop f-bombs and passive aggressively glare at Dean. Dean fucked up.

"I didn't mean to make you angry," Dean sighed, trying to find the right words.

Cas leaned forward, as if he were thinking about moving closer to Dean, but then he thought better and stayed put, crossing his arms over his chest. "You didn't make me angry, Dean," Cas said sternly. "I was worried." Dean looked up again, searching Cas' eyes. They were staring into Dean's, scared and shining with tears that hadn't fallen yet. "You disappeared again. No one knew if you were alive, or if Crowley had killed you. Demons can't be trusted and you of all people should know this, Dean."