Verses of Yours Truly

Firecrackers

Dark

That's all I see

That's all I feel

I keep pushing and pushing

In vain

This feels like concrete

And with that dreadful thought it all comes back to me.

I'm Junko Furuta and I'm stuck inside a block of concrete.

Can you hear me?

Can you save me?

Can you get me out?

Please?

It was a cold quiet night.

I could hear my cycle wheels moving against the cold hard ground.

My mind kept going back to the bullies from school, getting worse everyday.

At least I have the final episode to watch today.

That's one good thing, so yeah, grateful, God.

That's when I felt the jerk, the push, the fall.

Then I find a stranger helping me.

I ask his name while walking to safety.

Miyano.

Safety.

Miyano was the nicest of them all.

He raped me the least number of times.

For 40 long days, each conscious moment left me wishing I was dead.

Remember when I said I was grateful to God

Not anymore

Because see, I'm not dead yet.

I still have to see them coming and beating me while I dance and sing for them.

I remember waking up to candles over my eyelids.

Hot wax finding their way to my eyes.

It's okay, did you know hot wax becomes cold after like a second?

Amazing, right?

Ugh it's my eyes burning again.

It's funny how everytime I wake up

I find someone trying to force their way inside me.

I won't lie at first I felt like I could feel the pain everywhere inside me body.

So numb I couldn't even feel the tears falling

So numb I wished I was dead right in that moment.

I'm hanging from the ceiling now.

They're playing this game.

Who's the strongest

Who can punch the hardest?

I won't lie it's actually fun

It's just every few moments I feel my bones cracking from all the fists.

Something's moving.

I try to see but I can't.

Remember the wax?

Then I feel it.

Moving insects inside my mouth.

One of them tells me it's fresh cockroaches.

I shake, I sweat, I cry, I scream, I gulp.

Did you know when you eat a live cockroach you can feel them moving as you swallow?

I feel something wet.

I have stopped trying to see now.

They say it's my own piss and I have to drink it.

I don't resist because I have not tasted liquid in days.

Like a good girl.

Like one of them tells me when he's inside me.

Good little girl.

It's a day full of lights today.

They inserted a lit bulb inside me today.

Oh and fireworks too

As I felt them exploding inside me, I smiled to myself, my very own little party.

Sometimes I become so sure that I'm dead.

Then I feel the burning pain, the pliers cutting off my flesh, the inserts.

Then one day,

I remember my mother, she must be crying so hard.

I vaguely remember calling her and telling them I ran away.

Miyano told me to and I had to listen because he's the nicest of them all.

One day, the pain's all gone.

One day, I meet my death.

I can feel them covering my body with ash cement.

I can feel the life inside me slowly drifting away.

All for the better.

Hello? Can you hear me? Can you save me? Can you get me out? Please?