Clairvoyant ∞ SOONHOON

138

Jihoon sat up hastily as he gasped for air. His shaking hand found his chest quickly, clutching his shirt. He could feel his heart beating insanely too fast than usual, his breaths getting heavier. He gulped as his tears fell from his eyes.

In his dream, everyone was dead. Everyone died. . . but he lived. Everyone was bleeding on the snow, their blood was painting the clean white snow with bright red as snowflakes were falling onto their body. The beautiful snowfall, the beautiful winter only became more terrifying with that sight.

"N-No. . . n-no, no, no," Jihoon repeatedly whispered in a weak voice only he can hear. "I-I can't be the only one making it. N-No," he added as he stared at his arms, the same arms that would hold Soonyoung's lifeless body if he wouldn't take an action.

Jihoon clenched his fists. This can't be. He can't let that dream happen. He can't live another day if he wakes up being alone again. He can't wake up to another day without someone there with him, without anything but the curse he has lived his whole life with. Jihoon can't live a life like that ever again.

And he will never be able to forgive himself if he fails to save another loved one again.

He's so tired of losing people, he's tired of seeing people's deaths both in his sleep and in reality. He's tired of doing nothing and failing to save them. He's tired, and he doesn't want the same thing to happen again. He's lost enough people, hasn't he?

He lost his family. And now that Jihoon found a new family, a family in his friends, he won't let anything harm them again. He won't let anyone take them away from him ever again.

He searched for the clock, and when he saw it, he saw that it was already five a.m. in the morning. His eyes shifted to Soonyoung who was still asleep on the couch. Jihoon bit his lower lip, suppressing his sobs to come out from his mouth.

It's near. That winter nightmare is becoming a reality and Jihoon doesn't know still hasn't figured out yet what to do to keep it from happening. Jihoon still hasn't figured a way out from all of this.

Jihoon silently cried as he stares at Soonyoung. He shouldn't lose hope. No matter how difficult this is getting, he shouldn't just lose hope and crumble down like this when he's already gotten so far. He finally found his purpose, he finally understood the power of his clairvoyance, he finally is just a step away from finding out how to end this misery all of them are stuck in. He is so, so close.

But Jihoon doesn't know. He can see Soonyoung's death, but he doesn't know what led to it, only making it more confusing. What if Jihoon makes a mistake? What if Jihoon takes the wrong step and only makes it worse?

Jihoon stood up from his bed and walked towards the couch where Soonyoung squeezed himself on. Since they have established that Jihoon can't accept physical touch just yet, Soonyoung decided not to sleep beside Jihoon until they're both sure Jihoon will be finally alright with it. So here Soonyoung is, forcing to fit himself in this couch that was just enough for him if he shrinks himself.

Jihoon sat down on the floor and when he was already near him. He smiled and kissed his forehead. "I'll save you no matter the cost," he whispered and took his hand.

Jihoon was still shaking, and his tears were still coursing down his cheeks. But somehow, he calmed down as he held Soonyoung's hand.

"Even if it'll cost my life, I'll save you, Soonyoung," he added.

Because Jihoon loves him, and because Jihoon finds meaning in Soonyoung, Jihoon will do everything for Soonyoung.

Jihoon cried there silently, still holding Soonyoung's hands as his way to gain strength. He cried until the tears drained out at last, and until Jihoon dozed with his head on the couch.