Castiel, I walked past a homeless girl today, she was sixteen years old. Her hair was short and greasy and full of matts. She had this wild look in her eyes, it reminded me of a starved dog. I didn't stop for her Cas, I didn't even pause.
All of humanity is broken Cas, and I understand why you're gone now. You are pure- you are grace. I am nothingbut imperfect sins and hate and faults. Gods worse creation; humanity. I hope youre out there and listening Castiel- because I have long given up on god, but I will never give up on you.
Prayers To Castiel- The sixth
“She will be okay” Castiel sat next to me in the hospital waiting room. I didn’t look at him, I feared that if I looked too long, he would disappear. Or maybe if I glanced over, I would realize I had imagined him next to me
“Thanks, Cas”
“You need to tell me what happened” his voice was stern. I could feel his body heat as he sat next to me. I kept my face slack, trying to act indifferent.
“She showed up at my door, bleeding” I whispered
“I can tell that you are not telling the truth, Destiny. I don’t have to be an angel to tell that”
“Don’t you”
“No.” I shook my head
“I can’t tell you the truth”
“I could search through your head and find the answers I want.”
“You won’t. ‘Privacy is important too humans’, isn’t it Cas” He was silent.
“I won’t” I turned to look at him. He looked so tired, his cheek bones were sunken in, there were circles under his eyes, and his hair was a mess. His chin had much more stubble on it than he regularly did, and his tie was uneven.
“Cas… are you okay?” I spoke as gently and sweetly as I could. He looked up at me and I saw pain in his blue eyes.
“No” I reached out for his hand. He didn’t struggle or pull away, but instead leaned into me. He was so sad, and broken, and utterly, completely, lost.
“Talk to me” I said quietly. He was silent for a few moments then said to me
“Last night, you did not pray to me… You have… given up” I shook my head silently as he turned away and continued “Every night you prayed to me, for no purpose. I never answered your prayers.”
“Every night I asked you to talk to me” I said
“I am an angel, but I am not worth that much prayer”
“No, you’re not” He turned to me sharply “To anyone else, you are just an angel, failing at saving the world, with all the other angels.” I squeezed his hand “But not to me. You were my only friend, and you abandoned me. The apocalypse is no time to be alone”
“I am trying to protect you.” He insisted darkly. His voice was deeper and his eyes darker with supressed emotions. I released his hand and gently cupped his chin, turning his face towards me. His blue eyes widened
“Does it look like I want to be protected?” I asked the angel. He shook his head and gently, I pulled his face towards mine, pressing our lips together. His lips tasted the same as they ever did. He was so sweet and eager to taste me. His hands found my hair and hep pressed me into the chair I was sitting in. For the first time in six months I felt as if I could breath. Our lips melded together and for that brief moment, everything was right in the world. Our lips separated and I leaned my forehead against his and stared into his eyes
“Tell me, that you can go through a day without wanting to be with me, and I will walk away” he shook his head
“I have found myself missing you than even heaven, the more time I spend on earth” He whispered “It is troubling”
“Very” I leaned forward and kissed him again, feeling his stubble brush against me. I have never wanted anyone quite like I wanted Castiel.
“What is that, that makes us tumble into each other’s paths Castiel?”
“Perhaps it is gods will” He hoped. I looked into his eyes and felt a sudden wave of guilt, but pushed it away. I looked towards the room where Nat was being kept. Castiels eyes swept over the door way, and he put some space between us
“I could make her forget you. Forget she ever came here. She’d be safe” My eyes watered and I felt incredibly sad
“Castiel, can you?” I whispered. He nodded and stood, walking into Nat’s room. A few moments later he walked out and I stood
“It is done” He said. A choked sob came out. I stumbled slightly and fell forward. Castiel grabbed me into his arms and in an instant we were in my bed room. He lowered me onto my bed and I curled into a ball and cried. He sat next to me and stroked small circles on my back.
“I thought” I choked out “I thought it would hurt to see her die, this is much worse” The only person who treated me like I was actually family- gone. Castiel looked down at me and closed his eyes.
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” His prayer was silent but I heard it as if he had said it directly to me.
“You are strong” He said this part out loud “God will only put you through more trials- Heaven has plans for you, I know you will make it.” I tried to calm my crying down. I looked up at him through my mess of hair and tears and blurred mascara
“You can’t know that Castiel” He lowered himself next to me and wrapped his arms around me
“I can know that… and I do.” He wiped my tears away “Don’t cry” For the rest of the night Castiel was by my side, even after I fell asleep he stayed, arms wrapped firmly around me.
YOU ARE READING
Blue Eyed Angel (A Castiel Love Story)
Fanfiction“I am an Angel” He whispered “I am not supposed to feel” “It’s not a sin to love, our father wouldn’t have done this to our hearts if it was wrong” I whispered into his chest. Inside him I could hear the faint thrum of his human heartbeat, and the...
