- |FEELINGS| -

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Katia walked quietly to the train station. She hadn't heard from her father since she called him the other day. But she had to keep her hopes up and her head high. She walked through the school hallways, met by Peter a few minutes later.

"Hey, Kat!" He put his arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. "What's up?"

Katia smiled. "Nothing much. I see you got out of that storage facility alright."

"Thanks to you." He said. Katia couldn't help but blush. "So how's your uncle?"

"Huh?"

"The one from Russia?" Peter looked at her suspiciously.

"Oh, yeah," Katia said. "He's fine."

"That's good..." They walked for a while in awkward silence.. "So, I've been meaning to ask you-"

"Sup, losers?" MJ walked up behind the couple. "Wanna go to Delmar's after school today?"

"Yeah, definitely!" Katia said. She needed a distraction from just about everything at the moment. "Peter?"

"Huh?" He looked at the two friends. "O-oh, yeah sure." Katia's smile faltered when she saw his face. He looked a bit less confident than before, looking at the ground with his hands in his pockets.


At Delmars Deli, the three teenagers talked in one of the isles. The subject of homecoming arose and MJ obviously wasn't looking forward to it, but she said that she wouldn't miss out on an opportunity to watch the hoards of kids who would peak in high school then go on to live horribly mundane lives as accountants. Peter seemed pretty excited about it. Katia had never been to a school dance before and didn't know if she could trust Pretty in Pink, so she didn't have a set-in-stone opinion on homecoming.

As they talked, Katia's phone rang. Peter watched her face light up when she saw the contact and immediately felt self-conscious for some reason.

"Hey guys, I have to take this," Katia said. "It's family."

"Oh, okay," Peter said as MJ gave a thumbs up. I can't believe I actually just got jealous over nothing. I told myself I would never be one of those boyfriends. He thought to himself. He watched as she left the store to take the call outside.

"So when are you gonna ask Kat to Homecoming?" MJ asked suddenly.

"I don't know, I've been trying to find a way to ask her all day, but I haven't been able to find the perfect time," Peter said.

MJ sighed. "Look, there's no such thing as a perfect time." She said. "I'm gonna go, and you are going to ask her to go to homecoming with you, or I swear, I'll ask her for you."

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "I can do this."

"That's the spirit." MJ punched his shoulder as she started to walk away, meeting Katia on her way out.

Peter smiled at Katia, who gave a strained smile back. She walked over, putting her phone back in her pocket. As she looked up, Peter saw that her eyes were puffy and her nose and cheeks were flushed. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh, no I'm fine." She said hastily. "I just sneezed. I think I might have spring allergies or something." She laughed to cover something up. Peter didn't exactly know what, but something happened on that call.

"Oh, okay..." He took another deep breath. "Well, I was wondering if you would want to maybe go to homecoming together or something... I know it took me a while to ask, and Homecoming is in a week, and I'm sorry about that, but I think it could be pretty fun."

Katia looked at him. She wanted to go with him. But she couldn't. "I- I don't..." She sighed and regained her composure, recalling what she learned in the red room as she tried to look and feel as emotionless as possible. "No. I'm sorry, I can't."


Two minutes earlier


Katia saw her phone light up with the name 'Dad :)' and smiled. He must be done with his mission. "Hey guys, I have to take this." She said. "It's family."

She walked outside and answered the phone. "Hey! You made it!"

"Kat! Thank god. I didn't want to have to do this over text." Katia heard Daisy's voice. But something was off.

"Hey, Daisy. What's up? Is my dad back from the space mission?" She asked hopefully.

"Katia..." Her voice was hollow and solemn. She sniffled. "Your father didn't make it back."

Katia felt her stomach drop. A knot formed in her throat as she processed what Daisy had just said. "Great joke, Daisy. Can I talk to my dad now?" She tried to force out a laugh, but couldn't manage. There was silence on the other line. Though she could still hear Daisy's heavy breathing as if she didn't know what to say. For a moment, Katia considered the possibility. Her father was dead. Just as she got to know him. Just as she let herself open up, it was like a big fist punched her right in the gut and forced her back into that emotionless steel box. She bit the inside of her lip, trying not to cry, just like Daisy. "Is he-"

Daisy tried to speak through her tears. "Kat, I'm so sorry. I-" Katia hung up.

Her heart was pounding. Her vision blurred. As she blinked the tears out of her eyes, her face heated up and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She quickly counted to ten, not letting herself give in to the grief. She took a deep breath and walked back into the store. She saw MJ leaving and waved goodbye.

When she got back, she saw that Peter had noticed her telltale signs of overwhelming sadness, so she quickly lied and moved on.

Then he started to talk, and she started to zone out. She didn't know what she was going to do. She mentally cursed. This was her fault. She wouldn't be feeling this way if she didn't care. She should have just forgotten about everything that happened that night and gone back to a simple life with Natasha. If she didn't make the stupid mistake of not severing attachments, she wouldn't be suffering the consequences now.

Suddenly, she realized that Peter had stopped talking. She only caught a bit of what he had said. Such as, "Homecoming together." and "In a week." and "I think it could be fun."

He wanted to go to homecoming with her. At first, she felt like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. Then the weight dropped right back down on her. This time it was ten times worse. She heard a voice inside her head. Your father just died and you're thinking about going to homecoming. Then another voice spoke. You wouldn't be in this position at all if you hadn't fallen in love like the stupid little girl that you are.

Katia was overwhelmed by the voices in her head, filling her with regret and rage; and Peter's voice, filling her with emotions that she never asked for. "I- I don't..."

Peter looked confused. Katia stared into his beautiful coffee brown eyes and was easily able to see what he was feeling: love. Her heart stopped. He couldn't love her and she couldn't love him. The last person she loved died a horrible death and her mind was flooded with all the reasons why it was her fault. She couldn't let the same thing happen to Peter. She couldn't let herself love him.

So, trying her best to push the knot in her throat back down into her chest, she spoke clearly and quickly. "No, I'm sorry. I can't."

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