Concealed // Alex x George

Face- Alex

CW- tiny weeny mention of a panic attack and depression*literally referenced once but warning just in case*

Although I was joking about it on stream, I was genuinely worried about whether I had upset George. I dont want to ruin what we have so I'm a bit paranoid that I'll mess up. I'm joking around absent-mindedly to chat when George re enters the room. His brown hair is slightly messy and tousled and his bright green I dont remember what colour his eyes are but he gives off green eye energy so we are gonna go with that ok?? eyes distract me for a moment, dragging me into his nervous gaze. I mustve really messed up because of how scared he looks. I dont know why I'm suddenly admiring him so much but I cant help but look at his face.

I remeber that we are live streaming and reluctantly look back at my computer, feeling awkward about how long I had been quiet for since he entered. It must have been at least 10 or 20 seconds because chat certainly noticed. That wasnt the only thing they were talking about though. I'm confused for a moment when it hits me. George just face revealed. And I just gawked at him. Live.

damnnnn George kinda hot tho...

WAITTTT

🧍‍♂️did- is that george?

THAT EMOJI LOOKS SO FUNNY IN ITALIC NIHFZZYDGD 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

I smile at George and I notice his shoulders slump a little in relief as he reads the supportive chat.

Suddenly I'm distracted by a loud thump, as if someone had hit a wall or collapsed.

I run out of our flat and into the hallway. I dont worry about turning off the stream, hopefully this will be sorted out soon enough. I knock on a few doors, asking around to make sure people are ok until I get to James' home. I hesitantly knock and notice George coming over behind me. He links his fingers into mine and kisses my hand.

"Dont look so worried Al, I'm sure it's nothing. Dont get all worked up just yet."

"I know it's just, every other person has said nothing about the noise.. James is the only one left. Something mustve happened and my brain keeps going to the worst after what he said on our call," he murmurs in a kind of ahh thats who it was way before letting me continue "I said he could stay over at ours for some company but he said he didnt want to... interrupt anything. I- h-he isnt ok Georgie. Ever since his girlfriend left to serve he hasnt been himself. Hes not fucking eating George. He hasnt spoken to anyone in person for days. Hes told me that his head feels empty. He said he wasnt depressed but- but he said he wouldnt mind if something w-were to happen t-to him." I choke up on the last sentence.

James hasnt come to the door yet so we knock again. Silence. Cold, bitter silence. I crouch down against the wall with my head in my hands. I dont want to be here. George goes back to our apartment to grab something to open the door and I long for him to come back and comfort me. Whenever hes gone I just want him to return but when hes there I just cant let  myself hold him. Some kind of force is preventing me from getting close to him, something in my mind. I wish it was his fault. But it's really, really not. Hes so nice to me, but I dont deserve it. Not yet, I dont want him to just forget everything I've said to him just because Ive changed for a few days. Hes too trusting of me.

The time exploded like a cannonball from a cannon and I awoke to the crisp air of James' home. George was holding me bridal style in his arms since I mustve fell asleep outside. He was sat comfortably on the sofa though so he has been here for a while. Why didnt he put me down? I didnt want to complain though so I just pretended to still be asleep and eavesdrop their conversation.