Emanuel's Gift

Chapter - 10

Story told by: Emanuel Woods

The year 1933

I'm 25 years old and surprised to be still alive. Cilan has been inhabiting me for quite some time, my relationship with Claire had grown so much I loved her dearly. I wish I could marry her, I was then thinking about her becoming a widower when I'm gone. I didn't want to do that to her at all so I decided we no longer pursued the relationship. Sadness weighed heavy on our hearts, I wanted her to find someone else. I felt like my days were numbered now. As for my grandfather, weakened and aged, unable to continue running the family business which now fell onto myself.

I stood over him as he laid in bed. I was pale since lack of sunshine braced my flesh and started to sprout some facial hair on my chin. A spitting image of my late father I had become.

"Grandfather, you're going to a wondrous place," I said, holding his hand.

"Emanuel, your fixation with the dead becomes a twisted passion that often leaves me to wonder if you're completely muddle. I'm glad you believe there is a place that I'll be going to once I leave this earthly body" he said his rather dead looking eyes looked at me.

"Is there anything you request for your ceremony?" I asked. During that time I had been reading that the dead people's minds are remarkable, that remnants of thoughts, fears and dying wishes left behind. I took them all in one by one and did the best I could to make them go to heaven guilt free and spirited.

"Emanuel, I want you to go outside and experience the world while you can. You have Claire in your life, you need to take a break." he said as he coughed a bit.

"No, I can't. I find darkness is my habitat. I let Claire go a long time ago. She deserves someone better than me" I said and let go of his hand. He looked at me horrified as I stared coldly back at him "Was that your dying wish?" I said as I leant over his withering bed ridden body.

"Please make sure I'm buried according to my will," he choked as he laid down coughing violently. I turned and walked away, grabbing the will off the table and left him in peace.

"Alone after all this time clearly his mind must have become murky to forget I gave up on love" I looked over his final words and then noticed he wanted the white coffin. Cilan silver out of me reminding me that he is the only thing I have left that loves me deeply. Never uttered a word as he was in sync to my feelings knowing everything.

I always wanted the white one, I felt guilt eat me up inside deciding to go against his wishes and place him in the black one instead. "You're not taking my one away grandfather," I said to myself. I remember how much time I spent polishing it and it shone beautifully. It was delicately crafted with two lids. The top lid had a large silver crucifix on the white ivory wood lid, then the other half was a glass plated window full length of the coffin, so you can see the person inside lying the velvet interior lining with a pillow to match.

It was beautiful and soft, my dream slumber was to be in this coffin forever

The old man barely heard my words, he breathed his last breath, I went over and took his pulse and smirked to myself.

"Good bye, grandfather,"

Cilan was still quietly looming over my shoulder as I stood there, gazing about the room and noticed the photos of my parents, myself, Aunt Fran and my now deceased grandfather. I lost so many people in my life, here I am still standing shrouded in a layer of misery which I drowned in alone. I couldn't bear it anymore.

"Cilan I need to find someone to take care of me" the sudden emptiness inside me wields the sadness I have felt for so long, nothing was the same after Claire had gone.