Another Shitshow || Various! Naruto x Reader ||

Wait a minute...who a r e you?

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Chapter 1: Wait a minute...who a r e you?

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...

What the fuck is this bullsh-

Okay (Y/n), just breath.

In

And out.

...

Hah, that's what she sa-

I could feel an itch at the tip of my nose. Scrunching my nose, I internally groaned seeing as this was one of those itches that just won't go away no matter what you do.

I squinted my eyes open, only to immediately close them once I almost went blind.

Who the fuck turned on the sun.

My mind was hazy and the brightness did not help to soothe my growing headache. I couldn't move and my arms felt cold, which was a weird thing on its own seeing as how I was in a fire a moment earlier.

A fire... wait-

And like the morning after you got wasted in a college party where some kid broke a pool table and someone else took a shit on the computer, my memories came crashing in.

Me walking down the street, a box of pocky, Truck-Kun hitting me at full force only to burst into flames afterwards.

Oh.

I was dead.

Fuck yeah.

As if the image of fire somehow became a reality, my arms lost their numbness and merely felt as if a professional boxer was taking a nap on them. Lovely.

With a sudden rush of energy, I darted up and pried open my eyes. Yeaah not the best idea, but who said I was smart?

It took me about ten minutes to get my shit together. Once I did, I looked around to see..

What the hell? It's just..sand?

I looked over to my left and saw I was one roll away from falling off a cliff.

Who put that there?

So as any normal person would do, I threw my legs over it and sat on the edge swinging them. Looking down I saw I was kicking things down the cliff and stopped my actions to watch the rubble fall.

And that's when I noticed it.

The giant-ass village. At the bottom of the cliff.

Who in their RIGHT MIND would put a whole ass village at the boTTOM OF A CLIFF?

In my panic, I didn't notice some of the villagers spot me and start gossiping as I looked into the distance. The news spread like wild fire. In my defense, I was busy questioning my existence.

For you see, there was one place I can remember that has a village placed like that.

More specifically a show. An anime.

Oh heelll naw.

My suspicions were proven correct when a voice from behind me snapped me out of my stupor.

"Oi."

I turned around to spot a figure standing over me, the only noticeable feature due to the shadow over them being their mess of red hair.

Aw fuck, guess I'm gonna die again.

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Gaara was walking though the Village Hidden by Sand trying to ignore the voices of passerby. He had sent off his sibling in hopes of some alone time, although looking at how chatty everyone is, his actions were pointless.

For once, the stares avoided him. Not many noticed he was there, too caught up in their own chatter. Even Mother was acting restless.

His curiosity got the best of him and he allowed himself to be pulled out of his mind to e̶a̶v̶e̶s̶d̶r̶o̶p̶ listen in on others. He only managed to get a glimpse of their conversation, but being the 5 head he was, he pieced things together.

"...stranger on the top.."

"...just sitting there, like..."

"..hot as fuck though..."

"...pfft they look dead-"

He stopped walking after a pause, coming to a decision.

The person was most likely on a house or something, seeing as how everyone keeps mentioning how high up they are.

He'd climb the walls surrounding the village for a better view before confronting whoever was imposing on his home.

And then, he'd get rid of them if they posed a threat.

And now here we are, with our lovely red panda standing feet away from our protagonist and not realizing it. Until he heard a slight shuffle, that is.

Immediately raising his guard, his head snapped towards the direction of the noise, prepared to eliminate the threat only to see...

A fucking child. I mean, they looked about his age so not really - but still: ouch.

They were looking over the village with a concentrated look on their face, (E/c) eyes glazed over. Part of their (H/c) hair was put up, while the rest was doing whatever the fuck it wanted. They wore some unusual clothing ('Definitely a foreigner') consisting of what we call a (F/c) hoodie, jogger pants, and sho- wait never mind you were barefoot. Why though.

Eyes narrowing, he allowed some of his bloodlust to show as he spoke.

"You."

.

.

.

Yeah, you didn't hear him.

He blinked, waiting for your response. Realizing that wasn't gonna happen, he moved closer and tried again.

"Oi."

This time, you did notice him. Blinking as you mentally adjusted to not being in your mental space, you looked around after a moment.

Only to nearly have a heart attack.

Looking up at the man as you tried to calm you raging heart c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶ ̶u̶ ̶c̶ ̶k̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ you responded with a simple "Yo."

A pregnant pause.

In which you questioned that statement.

I mean, who came up with that? 'Pregnant pause' sounds like something a college student studying philosophy came up with to impress his teacher and convince his friend group that he was woke. Shut up, Jared.

Your thoughts got interrupted again when Red Panda asked "Who are you."

Knowing fully well you were playing with fire, you looked up at him with the most innocent eyes you could muster, and spoke.

"Oi Red Panda, how many drugs are you on and where can I get some?"

Only to backtrack for a moment. Hold up, aren't I dead?

You started looking around to see if there was anyone else he could have been talking with. Nope.

Focusing back on him with a confused expression trying to figure out what you said, you gave up the innocent-I-totally-have-no-fucking-clue-who-you-are-or-the-future-of-this-nation-as-a-whole act (for now) and blurted out

"Ayo wait, you can see me?" 

~ 生